THE LONG AND SHORT OF THE HAIRCUT.

   For somebody who has passed the life expectancy age in India I have a middling cluster of hair fallicles on my head. Nothing, of course, like my old colleague and friend Sandip Madan in the USA, whose mop would make any char woman scream with delight. But then Sandip has a natural advantage; at six feet three inches he has at least eight inches on me ( and he's still growing, like the Himalayas where he served for some time). The height difference ensures that his pate gets more of the nourishing sunlight and less of the PM 2.5 ( no, that is not a reference to Mr. Modi's second term), hence a more luxuriant growth. But in pure economic terms he loses out to me: whereas he has to visit a hair dresser( there are no more barbers left in the USA, ask George Carlin) once a month, I get by with a quarterly visit. The savings are substantial, till Mrs. Sitharaman imposes a GST on them.

   It was not always so. Back in the early 80's, before genetics and the brown man's burden had taken their toll, my crowning glory required a monthly shearing. Now, it's not easy for a Deputy Commissioner in a small district town to have a haircut; he can't just walk into a barber shop like the Delhi police into Jamia Milia, without causing a brouhaha. The normal practice, therefore, was to gently persuade ( a-la Mr. Amit Shah) a reluctant barber to the residence to do the fleecing, assuring him that he would not be arrested for damaging public propertyif he was found wanting and clipped off a little extra off the top. My barber in Una district of Himachal was my mali's brother but no pushover: he extracted all the collateral benefits of being the DC's Jack the Clipper. He would come every month armed with applications and requests from various citizens for gas connections, mutations, ration cards, driving licences et al. ( remember, this was before the mythical Acche Din). Unlike us IAS types, he was not as stupid as he looked for he never presented the petitions when he was shearing me, they were always proffered at the critical moment of the shave.                                Now, in those salad days before I learnt better, an administered shave was a sine qua non, based on the perceived wisdom that men who go to Heaven can get there only by a close shave. Mine barber would apply the foam liberally on the Shukla kisser, sealing my lips, and then advance his requests one by one. There was no way I could argue, not only because I was rendered vocally hors de combat, but also because no one in his right senses argues with a man from Una who is brandishing a cut throat razor two centimeters from one's carotid artery. The Punjab Reorganisation Act, I am told, was devised primarily so that Punjab could get rid of Una since even the sturdy Sikhs found its unruly citizens a handful. Thanks to the barber, therefore, my monthly haircuts thus did more to improve the lot of the people in this benighted district than Mrs. Gandhi's 20 Point Programme. The barber became a very popular figure in the town and, I am told, even briefly considered running for MLA, such was his perceived proximity to the DC, till my precipitate transfer put paid to his plans.

  But times have changed and many fallicles have since been brushed under the carpet. I now live in Delhi where the barber of yore is as extinct as the swallow. The humble hair cutting shop has now been replaced by the fashionable salons, hair dressers, stylists, parlours, coiffeuse, and friseurs ( "We would love to dye for you"). They are so fancy they don't "cut" your hair any more, they use small machines to nibble at them. At the end of the operation your hair needs no combing- it stands up automatically when they give you the bill, usually in the vicinity of a thousand rupees ( without the GST). Very soon, I expect, the job will be done by A.I. via the dulcet tones of Alexa; you will then need a part of Mr. Anil Ambani's remaining fortune to have a hair cut. 

  Fortunately, my pension only permits me to live beyond the Yamuna, Delhi's unofficial poverty line, and the intrepid barber still survives in its unauthorised markets and colonies. I patronise the Diamond Hair Cutting Saloon in Madhu Vihar, modelled apparently on Dodge city of Wyatt Earp fame, which is why I no longer have a shave with my haircut: without the protection of my erstwhile magisterial teflon a cut throat razor is best kept away from the jugular in these shady environs: (remember that riveting scene from " The Good, the Bad and the Ugly"?)  My barber- Salim Mian- charges me Rs. 70 for every pruning episode but I find even this a bit excessive for the few desolate strands that remain on my head. One day I put this to Salim Mian ( in a friendly way, of course, because even the scissor can inflict some serious damage) and suggested a graded fee, declining by five rupees every year in proportion to the loss of hairs on my scalp. His response was worthy of a member of the PM's Economic Advisory Council: " No, janab, I may instead have to increase my rates. You see, in your case, I am not charging for cutting your hair- I'm charging for the time I spend in looking for hairs to cut!" Touche! or Toupee! as the case may be. I do hope someone in the PMO will look at this gentleman when the current Chief Economic Advisor resigns, as his allotted time is almost up going by the tenures of his unsung predecessors.
  When I am at my cottage at Mashobra I avail of the services of Mr. Swami. Built like a Patton tank with handlebar moustaches, Swami operates from a hole-in-the-wall establishment in old Mashobra bazaar, but he also has other irons in the fire: he is also the local "kabadi wallah" and recycles half the waste of the area, not including retired IAS, IPS and Army officers who in any case have minimal recycling value. He charges only Rs. 40 for a haircut and it shows- I usually emerge from his premises looking like a cross between an American Pit Bull terrier terrier and a porcupine. But Neerja doesn't mind: she feels I blend into the rural landscape perfectly.
   My MPB ( male pattern baldness) is becoming more evident as the years roll by and the patch on the crown is expanding like the hole in the ozone layer. I briefly considered taking the Gautam Gambhir cure, i.e. going in for hair transplants: my research shows that it didn't do much for his cricket but it enabled him to win the last Parliamentary elections since the voter could see that he had a better coiffure  than his lady rival: he won by the proverbial hair's breadth. But further research revealed that it costs one rupee to transplant one hair fallicle and needed an investment of about Rs. 40000/, no mean outlay for a pensioner whose pension may stop at any time because his state is going bankrupt holding Investors' Meets where the only one making the investments is the government itself- in organising the said Meet. And what if the damn strands don't grow back? My long experience in the Forest department of Himachal shows that the survival rate of transplants is barely 30%, and therefore what I would probably end up with is not dense woodland but open scrub. So I've decided to keep my money for more worthy purposes, such as for collecting my legacy documents for the impending NRC, and continue hoping that Baba Ramdev's Kesh Kanti hair oil will finally deliver on its promise. So okay, I tell myself, I'll never have long, wavy tresses but then Samson did, didn't he, and where did his golden locks get him? Under a pile of Philistine rubble. All because of a haircut.

A WEEK OF SHAME BUT MOMENTS TO BE PROUD OF.

   Our judiciary had an opportunity to redeem its somewhat dubious recent record this last week, but as the saying goes it never misses an opportunity to miss an opportunity. We were hoping that after its bewildering judgment on the Ram Mandir, its volte face on Sabarimala and the unforgivable delay on Kashmir the higher judiciary would now at least- with half the country in uproar over the citizenship issue- call our rulers to account. But it has once again demonstrated its worrying and lacklustre commitment  to defend democracy, human rights and the rule of law.

   Pronouncing on a batch of petitions on the 18th of this month, the SC refused to provide any relief to the besieged students of Jamia: it did nothing more than issue notices to the govt. and fixed the next date for the 22nd of January next year, no doubt hoping that time is the best healer and it would not have to take any decision. For by the 18th it was clear to everyone that the police violence on the Jamia students was unjustified, excessive and perhaps even pre-planned. Not only was the court oblivious to the reality, it failed to appreciate the fact that Jamia is a minority institution and therefore deserved a more sensitive approach. The least it could have done was to [a] order a judicial inquiry into the incident, and [b] prohibit the police from entering any university campus without the VC's permission ( which in any case is the convention and unwritten rule). The very next day the Delhi High court too chose to prioritise process over justice: it refused to provide any interim protection to student protesters, order any inquiry or do anything more than, ( you got it right), issue notices. One cannot but contrast this with the undue alacrity with which it had responded when the police-lawyer clash took place last month at Tees Hazari: it had then ordered that no lawyer should be arrested, even though all evidence on social media then clearly showed lawyers beating up police officials.

  Frankly, I think our judiciary has dwelt in its ivory towers for far too long under the pretext of "independence", to the point where it now sincerely believes that it is an entity apart from this sorry society and that the people's problems are not its problems. It is in a state of disconnect, as the slogans by lawyers in the Delhi High Court on the 19th ( " Shame on the judiciary!") showed. It is time for our judges to smell the coffee, if not the stench from the burning pyres of rape victims and lynched cattle traders, or a Constitution consigned to flames every session of Parliament. If our democracy and constitutional values collapse, as they surely must if this government is not halted in its tracks, it will not be long before their ivory towers too bite the dust. It is too much to hope for a Solomon in these dystopic times, but will at least a Daniel come to judgment?

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  Is it possible for our political parties to descend any further into the depths of hypocrisy, duplicity, opportunism and the desperation to stay in power? Yes it is. They have been naked to the public for a long time but now we can even see their suppurating sores. Even in their thrall of the BJP they could not have failed to recognise that the CAB ( Citizenship Amendment Bill) for the abomination it is, and yet they were concerned only about their perks of power and not the country- the NDA allies as well as some " like minded" parties. They voted for the Bill, but now that they can see the country-wide backlash against it these despicable leaders are desperately trying to distance themselves and issuing post facto caveats to their support for it. The BJD, which has sat on the fence for so long that the iron has entered the soul of its patriarch, said that it is for the CAB ( now CAA, thanks to another midnight exertion by the President) but against the NRC. So does the JDU and its dissembling leader Mr. Nitish Kumar. These gentlemen are either dyed in the wool liars or ethically challenged- probably both- because anyone could see that the CAA and the NRC are conjoined twins, "joined at the hip" as brilliantly described by Mr. Pavan Verma in a recent interview to Karan Thapar. The spineless AIADMK has suddenly discovered that Sri Lanka Tamils have been left out of the Act. The Shiv Sena, after its disgraceful support of Mr. Shah even after it swore to abide by secular values in Maharashtra, also now finds the Act violative of the Constitution. The Jan Shakti party of the Paswans has today announced that it does not support the NRC. The SAD of Punjab fame, another ally with an Achilles heel which Mr. Shah can crush at any time, realised in quick time that the Sikhs were not supporting the Act; this proud community is intensely aware of its minority status and realises it could be on the hit list next time around, and is therefore also protesting against this Act. So now the SAD belatedly wants Muslims also to be included.

   None of these vacillating groups, however, are to be trusted; they are hypocritical and prevaricating to the core. If the national protests subside and the judiciary continues to snore out mere rhetoric in its deep slumber this whole sorry lot will jump back onto the BJP bandwagon. One can only hope that the voters in their respective states are making a note of all this, and will remember at the next hustings who stood by the country in this grave hour of peril, and who sold it for forty pieces of demonetized silver.

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   There hasn't been much that we Indians can be proud of these last few years, but even as our famed pillars of democracy showed how hollow and cracked they have become there were moments last week we can take pride in. It has been our youth, especially the students, who held aloft the banner of freedom in the face of vicious police atrocities across the country, holding a mirror to the judiciary, politicians and media. Protests by others have only followed the furrows carved out by these youngsters. We can justifiably be proud of people like Kanhaiya Kumar, the Vice Chancellor of Jamia Milia Ms Najma Akhtar, Ram Chandra Guha, Swara Bhaskar, Farhan Akhtar, that weeping student of Jamia ( a Hindu girl, it may be noted) who asked what the point of education was if they were not allowed to question the govt's discriminatory policies. We must be proud also of the fact that these protests themselves vindicate the diversity of our nation, for though there were demonstrations against the CAB and NRC throughout the country, each targeted a distinct aspect of its horror: in Assam it was the danger to its culture, in the North-east their tribal identities, in Punjab the implications for other minorities like Sikhs, in Tamil Nadu the plight of Sri Lankan Tamil refugees, in Hyderabad and UP its impact on Muslims. And cutting across this spectrum was the over arching concern for human rights, constitutional values and the promise of a truly secular India. The last week has been a reminder to the BJP that this country values its diversity and will not be apologetic about it, that it takes patience and consensus to keep this disparate tapestry together, that there cannot be a quick-fix, one size fits all solution to historical legacies, that jingoism and authoritarianism are no substitute for statesmanship. It is not Section 144 or the suspension of internet or police repression that will keep this country together but the values of Nehru and Gandhi: it is time to return to them.

CUSTODIAL KILLINGS ARE AN ALIBI FOR FAILURE OF GOVERNANCE.

             

   The early morning execution of four rape suspects in Hyderabad on the 6th of December this year was actually a custodial killing, and it was bad enough; what was worse, however, was the jubilatory response to it.

When the President of a constitutional democracy publicly asserts that child sex offenders should not be allowed a mercy petition against a death sentence, when MPs in Parliament demand that those accused of rape should be publicly lynched without any trial, when a frustrated public showers rose petals on policemen who have just shot dead four rape accused in what appears very much to be a custodial killing, when "celebrities" across this sorry nation erupt in joy when they hear of this murder- then we have reason to be very worried. For these portend not only the total collapse of the rule of law, that our criminal justice system has now become a criminalised justice system, but also that this country is fast becoming a vast Colosseum with the people baying for blood; it doesn't matter whose blood, for what the cohorts are seeking is catharsis not vindication, revenge not justice. As we were reminded on the 7th of December by a wise Chief Justice of India: there is no such thing as instant justice. The Prime Minister, of course, maintained his sphinx- like silence, as he is wont to do whenever any moral or fundamental guidance is required.

  This moral and systemic degradation did not happen overnight but has been sixty years in the making, assiduously engineered by those in power. It began with criminals infiltrating into our Parliament and Assemblies: in just the last 15 years, between 2004 and 2019 the percentage of MPs with criminal charges against them has gone up from 24% to 39.9%. They and their likes have in turn protected their own, whether it be a Sengar in Unnao, a Chinmayanand in Lucknow or their henchmen in Kathua. They have taken control of an already corrupt and predatory  police,  ensuring an immunity from any legal action for their sexual depravations. When law breakers turn law makers, what are the odds of a country having a fair and efficient justice system?

   Our criminal justice system - the police and the judiciary-has been deliberately and systematically broken down over the years and allowed to atrophy because it suits those in power, and indeed keeps them in power. Numerous recommendations of Law Commissions and Police Commissions to improve the infrastructure have been buried, even the occasional, half-hearted Supreme Court order blithely ignored. If even the apex court cannot ensure that its recommendations to appoint SC and HC judges are implemented, then what chance is there for real justice to be delivered to the people? Consider some figures.

  Successive govts have had no time, or funds, for improving the deplorable conditions of the judiciary and have run it to the ground. Only 0.08 % of the central budget is provided for this sector. We have 19 judges per million of the population whereas we should be having 50 as per international benchmarks. If we factor in the vacancies the actual availability would be even less. The current strength ( January 2016) of judges in all courts is 16743; according to the Law Commission it should be 60000. The total vacancies of the lower courts as on September 2018 was a mind boggling 5748; of the sanctioned strength of 1080 judges in the high Courts as many as 414 or 38% are vacant.

  It should therefore, come as no surprise that more than 30 million cases are pending in the system and any kind of justice is a distant illusion for most. 28750 rape cases, involving more that one lakh accused, are under trial and 235000 are under investigation. The accused in the Nirbhaya case were convicted four years ago but are yet to be hanged. The conviction rate for rape, as per NCRB data, has seen a consistent and sorry decline over the years: from 46% in 1973 to 25% in 2017. ( These, mind you, are conviction by the trial courts; many convictions are overturned in appeal). Given this dismal output of the judicial process, is it any wonder that there are more than 350000 reported crimes against women every year , of which 40000 are rapes alone? In the background of the fact that 90% of such cases are not even reported, we may well ask: do we even have a viable criminal justice system in this country?

   The state of the police force is even more abysmal, if that is possible. The total sanctioned strength at 1.90 million ensures that we have only 138 policemen per 100,000 population, actually about 100 only if the vacancies of 24% are factored in. The accepted international norm is 225, so it is no surprise that India ranks as the fifth lowest out of 71 countries in this respect. There is a shortfall of at least half a million policemen. But our rulers are well protected and cared for: according the BPRD ( Bureau of Police Research and Development) report of 2017 as many as 56994 cops are posted on personal security of 20828 VIPs, an average of almost 3 policemen for every so-called VIP. Contrast this with what is provided for the ordinary citizen- one cop for every 663 people. The streets and public places have been handed over to criminals: the police claim they don't have the manpower for proper patrolling, but they have no problem in pouring out hundreds when it comes to beating up protesting students or farmers.

   It is not just the central governments but the states which too have been criminally apathetic to the ever expanding rot in the system. Some years ago it was decided to set up 1023 Fast Track Courts( FTCs) to expedite the then pending 166,882 rape and 160,000 POCSO cases. But so far only 420 have been established; 15 states have have not notified a single FTC. A Nirbhaya fund was set up in 2013 to improve the infrastructure for the safety and rehabilitation of women and rape victims; it has amassed a corpus of Rs. 3600 crores, of which Rs.1656.71 crores have so far been released to the states for various approved projects in the last five years. Shockingly, 90% of this has not been spent by the states which have so far submitted UCs of only Rs. 146.98 crores as per the latest information provided to Parliament by the WCD Ministry.

   This broken, ramshackle legislative, judicial and police architecture can never deliver any real justice. On the contrary, it has become vulnerable to, if not complicit in, the manipulations by an unscrupulous government. The people have realised this and are resorting to vigilantism across states. The police, of course, need no encouragement to become vigilantes themselves because it fits in with their predatory instincts and saves them a lot of hard work that proper investigation requires.

   Our criminal justice system has all but collapsed, and women being the most vulnerable section of our society are being forced to bear the brunt of the fall out. Every section of our power structure has contributed to this degradation: a Chief Justice of India  who absolved himself of a charge of sexual molestation in the most opaque manner and was allowed to get away with it, political parties which have no qualms about publicly supporting rapists, a judiciary which doesn't question the police, a public and media which demands instant retribution, not justice We have degenerated into a juridical ecology where people accused of white collar crimes ( with no charge sheet filed) can be kept in jail for 106 days, but rapists and lynch artists get bail almost immediately and are garlanded by Ministers of the government, where the police refuse to register FIRs in rape cases or to protect victims or witnesses. Unnao, Kathua, Hyderabad- these are badges of shame for any country. And now  we are, inevitably, regressing to the BC era, to the code of Hammurabi ( as retired CJI Lodha reminded us last week) and the dictum of an eye for an eye; it doesn't matter whose eye is extracted or what process is followed. The Hyderabad "encounter" and its resounding endorsement by a citizenry which has reached the end of its tether is an augury no civilised democracy can either accept or ignore. The social doctrine of Thomas Hobbes and Max Weber tells us that violence is the monopoly of the state; this may well be so, but it does not include police vigilantism.