Notwithstanding that the BJP is not my favourite political party, my family has some connections with it. I myself served with Mr. J.P.Nadda, the BJP President, for three years in Himachal, he was my Minister in the Forest Department, a thorough gentleman and polished politician. My "mausa" was a highly respected RSS Pracharak for many years in Kanpur, till his death. My entire immediate family has been voting for the BJP ever since Mr. Modi opened his tea shop in a Gujarat station that didn't even exist at the time. On voting day I am not served any meals because I vote otherwise. My wife of many years and tears, Neerja, thinks the arrival of Modi is the Second Coming. My mother-in-law chants the Narendra Chalisa every day. Even my Indie dog (named Brutus in a momentary mis-assessment of his personality), of stout Haryanvi lineage, is a strong votary of the "ghar me ghus ke marna" brand of diplomacy: if he sees an open door in any flat in our society he is wont to rush in and eliminate a few of the neighbours, without bothering to out source it.
Comprende, amigo? No, you don't, because you're wondering why I'm telling you all this, and where this is heading. So here's a clue: I'm approaching the age of 74 with the speed of a mythical Bullet train and soon will have reached the mile-stone of 75. That, friends, is the Marg Darshak age in the BJP sub-culture, and seeing that that culture has seeped into the Shukla family, it has grave implications for me.
The Marg Darshak phase of a politician's life is a modern adaptation by the BJP of the Vanprastha stage in the Hindu Vedic system of life. Just as the BJP is the Congress plus a cow (in the unforgettable words of Arun Shourie) and Mamata Banerjee is Modi with a saree, so Vanprastha can be better understood as Marg Darshak without the Bharat Ratna. It is the third stage of the four stages of Chaturasrama, the first two being Brahmacharya and Grihasta and the final fourth one being Sanyasa. Its literal meaning is "way to the forest" or "retiring to a forest", and its practical meaning is the giving up of worldly possessions and responsibilities, concentrating on moksha or spiritual liberation, and taking up an advisory role. See the connection now between Vanprastha and Marg Darshak? Think Mr. Advani (without the advisory role, of course) and you've got it! The stripping of any Prime Ministerial ambitions or the possession of leadership of the BJP from him in 2014 was, therefore, in the best traditions of Hinduism and Vanprastha, and Mr. Modi can certainly not be faulted for adopting it.
Actually, Vanprastha is a pretty benign and benevolent concept if you consider what happens to the old critters in other parts of the world. In ancient Egypt they were shoved into hastily constructed pyramids with all their finery and walled up; in Japan they are left in abandoned villages to fend for themselves; in the USA the old fogeys are dispatched to dismal old age homes to watch TV and play canasta; in certain parts of Africa they are left in the bush to provide the main course for the hyenas' night out festivities. Vanprastha, by comparison, does none of this, it simply asks you to take a chill pill, step aside, divest yourself of all responsibilities and properties, and concentrate on moksha. Too bad if you like your Grihasta role just fine and wish to continue being an active RWA Uncle.
Which is why yours truly is beginning to get worried. Methinks my family, all staunch Modi acolytes, are thinking of persuading me (the gentle, ED brand of persuasion) to go into Vanprastha mode the moment I turn 75. They have the support of most of my friends, various IAS groups, the ungrateful pooch, and the RWA. Not only have my blogs become a nuisance, I continue to refuse to buy a bulldozer to demonstrate my support for the new Bharatiya Nyaya Samhita. The other day I found my son scrolling on the Make My Trip website looking for reasonably priced caves to book near Amarnath. I don't mind giving up my responsibilities, since the responsibility for everything that goes wrong in the house is laid at my door: it would be a relief to be unburdened of that weight! But I certainly don't want to give up my single malt, or the collection of Bill Bryson books, or the framed photograph of Sunny Leone fully dressed in an enchanting smile, or the award I received in 1958 for my role as the seventh dwarf in the school play Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. I'm sure a cave would have no place for all these memorabilia.
But hold on!- maybe I won't have to be put in moth balls, come the 4th of June. You see, there are only two possibilities then- either Mr. Modi loses or he wins. If the former, then he will pack his capacious "jhola" and proceed (without cameras, hopefully) to that cave in Kedarnath he likes so much and hopefully disappear into the fog of history. In that case the 75 year sub-rule shall become 'non est' and get automatically repealed and Marg Darshak/Vanprastha shall be consigned to history. If, on the other hand, he wins, then he will want to savour the loaves of office for another five years (as commanded by God) and continue to, well, bond with his cronies. In which case he will have to amend the Vedas along with the Constitution to expunge Vanprastha along with secularism, federalism, fundamental rights, socialism etc. etc. A win-win for me (and all 75ers), don't you think? As for those who are already in the Marg Darshak phase, they will get a double promotion and transit directly to the Sanyasa stage. I'll worry about that when I turn ninety- the way things are going, I'll probably wish I were dead by then anyway!
Absolutely outrageous!
ReplyDeleteIts laugh-a-minute !!
So well written
ReplyDeleteA wake-up call. 75 is not far, and one keeps forgetting that number. Luckily, my entire family has the same political choices as I have. My cave is likely to be an abode of peace; or, so I think!
ReplyDeleteThose leapfrogging from brahmacharya to vanaprastha, bypassing the intervening grihastha, are poster boys of bumboy chic.
ReplyDeleteThe seers must be suffering and shuddering setting the hearts of buxom apsaras aflutter in swarga firmament or in the elysium fields of the invisible spaghetti leviathan on seeing their twat averse bhakts on earth getting their khaki knickers in a knot by eschewing their householder responsibility of passing on their genes for the preachy vanaprastha.
The yog drishti of antediluvian seers, bibbers of soma ras, the Indic botanical clone of the Amazonian ayahuasca, devised the rule of 4: chathur varna (4 fold caste system) and chathur ashram (4 stages of life). Raising the bar 3 notches higher, the deer-stealing Bard referred to the 7 stages of man's life - infanthood, the schoolboy, the lover, the soldier, the justice, the pantaloon, and the old man.
"‘All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players. They have their exits and their entrances; And one man in his time plays many parts. His acts being 7 ages..."
In contravention of dharma, the venerable CEO of our desh, mulk, nation, or whatever, approaching his diamond jubilee year, exempted himself from the second stage, the grihastha or householder part of the tapestry of sanaatanihood, by going it solo sans wife and family with no son to light his pyre and write a golden worded epitaph on his samadhi. The menacing septuagenarian virgin shares a pet obsession with fellow chick shunning khaki chuddii wallahs of changing everything hetero to homo, from plural to singular, in the nation's written document bringing 140 crores of the sheeple under the sway of one party, one religion, one language and other totalitarian aspects of the phantasmagorical singularity.
The leading desi chickphobes have made a beginning by warping a fundamental law of physics of "like repels like" to "like attracts like". Such digressions, brushed aside as 'variation' imposed on some specimens of the species by natural selection, seductively draw the elite members of the rainbow crowd to the arcane art of hip bumping, hugging males, in public embarrassing many at the receiving end who equate it to a hair raising alien invasion from a Niburu crash on terra firma. Nonetheless, the hip bumps a la garba style are mild before the bold male genitalia embossed merino wool socks worn on patent leather Guccis by portmanteau Fidelto - Justin with doppelganger Fidel - with bigwigs in the know whispering about Fidel fathering Fidelto and of junior's picture perfect grihastha, of wifey and cute kids with fringe hair cuts, a shameful sham constructed by the fruitcake.
Quick to pounce on Papu embracing the seated head honcho with a knowing smile and a big wink to the elected movers and shakers, the wily Phulwaria born aloo chokha smeared with rancid sarson ka tel snidely alluded to their bumboyism ooops bachelor chic in recent bits of wisdom given to the media.
Sigh! Why act like undercover intel concealing one's true colours?
In the closet is constipation; out of the closet is catharsis.
I strongly recommend political sanyas, a lifelong sabbatical, for our desi rainbow stalwarts steering the nation to greater doom to quit their sanctimonious vanaprastha preaching from air conditioned cabins and podiums and retire, just go quietly. Leap out from your liminal space, cross the rubicon, and truncate your role of marga darshak of the nation. You'll do us a big favour.
What is this, chatGPT for homophobes?
DeleteWho?
DeleteIs this a very funny, and roundabout way of telling us that your birthday is fast approaching and a Macallan 25 year would do very nicely, thank you very much? I do quite enjoy your blog. But if retirement for you means a cave, that photo of Sunny Leone and a single malt, then godspeed!
ReplyDeleteWishing godspeed is an acceptable riposte; is the question raised before that connected to the blog remotely...?
DeleteA rhetorical question asked in jest, in keeping with the light tone of the post itself.
DeleteThis comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ReplyDeletewhy?
DeleteKabir, i have a rule- the blog will not be used for any promotion purposes, as that compromises its purpose and integrity. No piggybacking. Your comments amounted to that (inadvertently, i am sure) but rules are rules..On an average i have to delete one or two such comments every day. Am sure you will understand.
DeleteNo problem. But I thought my co.me t was the single word, 'er...'
DeleteMaybe I start a blog for the comments your blogs generate. As fame and happiness spread, the revelations of empathetic expression seem to be eddying ever outward. Some of these guys obviously have a lot to say, spurred on by your magical irreverence. I don't mind taking that on if you want.
ReplyDeleteMr. Shukla has dug his heels firmly into Grihastha Ashram and no amount of push and pull by the mandate of Time and Dharma seems a force adequate to advance him to the Vanprastha Ashram. The feeble declaration of proceeding to the forest-dwelling stage upon touching 75 is about as promising as Arvind Kejriwal assuring the ED of an attendance by his own volition.
ReplyDeleteWhat is of stand-out note is his win-win calculus, derived on the outcome of victory in the approaching election. Applying which he could eschew the stage of renunciation just as easily as he will the retirement stage, to enjoy perpetuity in the Grihastha Ashram that he is not-so-secretly loath to relinquish.
With plans set, and aided by the exponential strides in medicine and healthcare, Mr. Shukla could well stay ensconced in the second stage to a well leavened triple figure.
A mild concern - if at all - could arise in his NextGen, who may be resigned to alter their Wills bequeathing all to him, as King Charles almost did when he was certain he would stay the eternal Prince.
On a different plane, his staying firm in the Grihastha Ashram will be of pleasure to the likes of us, some of whom will extract immense joy from his weekly throwdowns even in 2050...!
Vadnagar railway station, where PM Modi was supposed to have sold tea along with his father, has been in existence since 21 March 1887. (Wikipedia)
ReplyDeleteNaMo was never a chaiwallah (tea seller) - confirmed by the railway authorities to a RTI inquiry about him. He's a fanatical khaki knicker wallah since his teen years. There are photos of him as a young adult before the White House in Washington. RSS allies with Political Zionism - both used as convenient fronts.
ReplyDeletePeople like him, with narcissistic tendencies, who are committed to a rabid ideology, are selected by the senior cadre fronting for Deep State and trained in psychological warfare, political machinations, rabble rousing and more and subjected to sinister mind control programmes like MK Ultra, Monarch Mind Control, etc, to create an obedient split personality with multiple "trigger words" planted in their psyche - a trigger word, activated by the handler who is assigned to the mind controlled person, awakens the particular personality trait associated with it.
Everything about him is very fishy and narcopathic. He has a lot to hide. His handlers have groomed him for the role he's playing since decades with the entire agenda given to him, stage by stage, to implement. The false opposition is equally controlled by the same global power oligarchs.
I'm saddened for truth and for India and her people who are unaware of the very dark days that lie ahead.
All countries are controlled and divided into different camps to be used and pitted against each other suiting the strategic aims of the elites calling all the shots from behind the scenes.
Shalom Y'all.
This comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteIf something is not on government records, it does not mean that that thing did not happen. We are living in a democracy. The people will decide who is the best person to lead them.
ReplyDeleteDelete
No need to worry. This time 400 paar.
ReplyDeleteHilarious.
Avay ji made a poker face confession that he sucks at math compelling him to study English Literature.
ReplyDeleteCommendable move!
English language majors are in demand in the corporate sector, government, NGOs and academia and earn decent salaries. Some rise to the posts of senior managers and CEOs. Philosophy grads are sought for their deep analytical skills and coherent written presentations. Leading philosophers have the highest average IQ out performing scientists in tasks requiring complex reasoning. STEM is more tunnel vision.
I'd written to PM Narendra Modi elaborating on the gimmickery of most modern technologies and suggested we should not imitate the highly industrialised nations who are wastrels, polluters, depleters, war mongers, human rights' abusers and crass materialists due to their obsession with pelf and power and that Bharat, aiming to strike the right balance between ancient wisdom and modernity, should eschew this first world malady and push sustainable development by capping technology at 3G/4G that's sufficient to run a modern economy, while priority be accorded to improving the quality of life of the citizenry - population reduction, civic discipline, culture, liveable cities, preserving nature; and tending to people's psychoemotional, wants and basic material needs sans inciting our hedonistic tendencies. My message was ignored, whereas, on the rare occasion, in the past, I'd receive a terse reply on other issues. Bhutan is a fine example of sustainable development with over 60% of its landmass under forest cover, polluting activities like mining and fossil fuel intensive occupations largely banned or highly regulated and traditional values dominating mainstream society. I thrice received the Bharat Viksith Sampark letter via WhatsApp asking for my suggestions and finally replied pointing out all the negatives.
Practical engineering is far removed from the arcana of Hilbert spaces, tensors, fouriers, nablas, Parsevals theorem and eigens. If you're given all the possible equations in physics and engineering and asked to design, fabricate or repair a device, you'll remain stuck on paper. A mathematical or physics explanation is miles away from the praxis. The fine tuning of existing practical engineering techniques (with some theory) creates better technology.
Nikola Tesla - "Today’s scientists have substituted mathematics for experiments, and they wander off through equation after equation, and eventually build a (theoretical) structure which has no relation to reality." There are no infinitesimals or differentials in Tesla’s notes though he was adept at working calculus in his head. Einstein called Tesla the smartest person alive.
Thomas Alva Edison, middle school educated, abhorred complex math and remarked he'd perused Isaac Newton's "Method of Fluxions" (Latin: De Methodis Serierum et Fluxionum) on calculus and never recovered from the shock of poring through complicated mathematical techniques that were of no help to him in his inventions and discoveries. C N R Rao, ex-Director IISc and ex-scientific advisor to the Government of India, remarked that the unschooled Michael Faraday, perhaps the world's greatest experimentalist, deserves no less than 6 Nobel Prizes in physics.
IT and life sciences use basic math. Theoretical investigations in engineering, pure math and computer science where complex mathematical models are used receive the least state and industry funding, while the lion's share goes to the life sciences.