AN INDIAN VIEW OF THE EPSTEIN FILES- WE ARE LIKE THIS ONLY.

 

Epstein who? Emails-when? Meetings-where?

Every era produces its own prophets, who inscribe their wisdom on our digital walls; the year 1 AE (After Epstein) is no different. A friend has just forwarded to me this priceless diagnosis of what ails us: When faced with temptation, wise people abstain. The others Epstein. This single digit sentence explains what the Epstein Files are all about, and why a pedophile, sex-trafficking celebrity, long dead, is causing so much churning in the capitals of the neoliberal world (and in India, which is neither neo nor liberal). Here are the titbits (is that the appropriate word?)  which I have gleaned so far from this affair.

One hears that Mr. Vivek Agnihotri, the film Director so beloved of the BJP, is a very angry and worried man these days. He has lost his IPR and franchise of the word "Files"; his Kashmir Files, Bengal Files and Kerala Files had an authoritative ring about them, for are files not the repository of truth within the government ? But he no longer has the "personality rights" on this word  for it has been hijacked by Epstein and Pam Bondi and henceforth will convey, not pseudo-nationalism and Islamophobia, but sex, sleaze and betrayal- a more exciting batter, I agree, but not one which can garner votes. Mr Agnihotri will now have to look for a new word for "Files": may I suggest "Lies" or "Fakery" or "Fibs" ?

The world's glitterati- the Davos types, politicians, marquee actors and singers, the fixers, fashionistas, sheikhs and sultans- who cannot bear to be out of the news for even a day, are faced with a horrific quandary: which is worse- being mentioned in the Epstein files or not being mentioned in them? (Remember Oscar Wilde: The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about?) The former can lead to social disapprobation, dismissal, law suits and even worse; the latter would be a living death, for it would be final proof that they are non-entities, that they never mattered, were not important enough to be honey-trapped. For some the wretched choice has already been made- Andrew Mountbatten Windsor, Lord Mandelson, the President of the WEF, the Swedish Chief of UNHCR, an ex Chief of the CIA. The elite in India too is holding its breath, poring over every new list of emails through their Cartier or Maybach looking glasses to see if their names (or, God forbid, their photo!) are there. But the common man-i.e. 99% of India- is not bothered: he's busy full time in checking if his name is on the voter's list. This is Mr. Gyanesh Kumar's stellar contribution to limiting the impact of the Epstein story within our shores! Thank you, sir.

But we have two shining stars (or potential asteroids for Mr. Modi) from India who have the distinction of having made it to the Epstein short-list: one a Minister who has anger management issues and a failing memory for number of meetings held and emails sent, the other a Captain of industry who, to continue with the cricketing analogy, has a weakness for the fine leg, especially if it is attached to a tall, blonde Norwegian of the opposite sex (if the emails are right). Right now the two are being pilloried by Rahul Gandhi in Parliament, quite unjustly, in my view. For one was promoting Digital India (even before it was conceived!) and the other building our Vishwaguru status globally, all undercover (or covers), of course; if the price of these laudable objectives involved enjoying the hospitality of a convicted sex predator or a massage or two, so be it. It was all for King and country, wasn't it, in the finest traditions of Lawrence of Arabia, Kim Philby, Mata Hari and James Bond, to mention just a few. All done at their own expense and time. Never have so many owed so much (in crypto, of course) to so few! Methinks, a Padma Bhushan or two would be in order here.

Finally, it must be said the Epstein Files is no respecter of reputations. One mail mentions our very own globally acclaimed wellness guru, Deepak Chopra, who dispenses advice (at very steep rates) to CEO's about how to view life. But per one released mail he has reserved his most penetrating observation for Mr. Epstein: 

"God is a construct, cute girls are real." 

In other words, what you see (in that Manhattan flat or Virgin Islands resort) is what you get, so grab it (or her). Forget about God! A cutie in the hand is worth a deity in the bush ! No wonder the man has made millions.

Even His Holiness the Dalai Lama appears to have been dragged into this controversy needlessly, with Chinese social media alleging that he had met Epstein, in an apparent attempt to discredit him after his Grammy win earlier this month. The Dalai Lama's office has issued a strong contradiction and condemnation of these planted posts. I am sure no sane person would believe this Chinese canard. But it must have been a close call for His Holiness's advisors, and a difficult choice- should they ignore this Chinese slander, or should they condemn it ? This is what I would call being on the horns of a dalailama.

And while Heads of Government all over the world are speaking on the Files, ordering inquiries and sacking people, in India there is total silence. The Prime Minister only speaks during election times, his hangers on cannot speak of anything except Rahul Gandhi's ancestors, and the media is still fighting the Sindoor war with Pakistan and discussing the bisexuality of Babur. The country has become one vast black hole from which no light can emerge. But if you listen carefully, you'll hear a protesting voice emanating from that hole: "What! Me resign? But I was ambushed!"

We are like this only, folks. Satyamev Jayate.

BUDGET 2026-27: WHAT ABOUT THE ENVIRONMENT, MADAM FINANCE MINISTER ?

Preservation and protection of the natural environment has never been a priority in our annual Budgets; ALL Finance Ministers have taken it for granted and have treated it as an infinite resource rather than a living entity to be nurtured and carefully harvested on a sustainable basis. In July 2014 I had written a blog on these pages about precisely this: Budget 2014- Shortchanging the Environment. Eleven years down the line this catastrophic deficiency in planning persists, even though a new, and compelling, dimension has been added now with the acceleration of Climate Change (CC). The need now is, not only to provide public funding for measures to counter CC (adaptation, mitigation) but also for rehabilitation of those directly affected by it- poor farmers, landless labourers, fishermen, nomadic tribes. Unfortunately (and predictably) this Budget, like its predecessors, does none of this.

We should perhaps have expected this from the tone of the Economic Survey 2026, released a couple of weeks earlier. In it, the Chief Economic Advisor blatantly bats for growth and neoliberalism at the cost of the environment. Defying all science he states that cutting carbon emissions should not be our top priority, and that "a 3*Celsius world would be a liveable one"(!) Confounding all evidence and scientific global consensus, he goes on to maintain that "growth and prosperity strengthen resilience and reduce vulnerability.." Yes, sir, they do, but only if  done in a sustainable and ecologically friendly manner, which is not how it is happening in India. Maybe, if the Economic Advisor had paid more attention to what a fellow economist (without any political bias), Gita Gopinath, had said in Davos, he would have better understood the problem, and how wrong he is. 

This govt. suffers from a severe case of CID (Compulsive Infrastructure Disorder); Capex is fine and needed for growth, but so is the environment. There are huge environmental costs to rapid infrastructural expansion- both the World Bank and the IMF estimate this at between 3.5%-5% of our GDP, which comes to about USD 200 billion or 1800000 crore rupees. 

The 2026-27 budget proudly mentions the creation of a mineral corridor (for rare earths) in four southern states, three more high-speed rail corridors, zero duties for maritime catches in India's EEZ or the high seas, tax exemptions for setting up data centers, but there is no mention of how the environmental consequences of these initiatives shall be addressed or mitigation of them funded. Are these corridors necessary at all, given the large number of expressways being built all over the country? The corridors shall lead to large scale land acquisition and displacement of populations, adding to the 60 million project refugees already created since Independence. Hundreds of thousands of trees (and mangroves, since rare earths are found in large quantities in coastal areas) shall be felled. The boost to maritime fisheries is welcome, but where are the guard rails to ensure that the livelihoods of traditional fishermen will be protected and not replaced by mechanised trawlers or that measures shall be taken to curb overfishing? The data centers require humongous quantities of power and water- where will they come from in this water stressed country?

The damage to the environment by the various corridors will be enormous, as pointed out above. The dilution of the regulations that could have checked this, or compensated for it, such as the Forest Conservation Act, the Environmental Protection Act, the Wildlife Protection Act, and the defenestration of the regulatory institutions have so weakened these checks over the years that we can expect minimum oversight or safeguards in the execution of these projects.

Thousands of crores shall be needed to mitigate, and compensate for, the adverse impacts of these projects, but the Finance Minister has said not a word about this- about who will pay for it and where the funds shall come from. This silence and ambiguity appears to be a deliberate strategy of decentralisation of costs to the states: the political credit and financial gains will accrue to the Center, but the social and budgetary costs will have to be borne by the states from their own resources- an innovative (mis)interpretation of the concept idea of federalism!

Finally, it appears that the 16th Finance Commission is also in lockstep with the central govt. like all so-called autonomous institutions in this country. For it has chosen to completely ignore the right of the Himalayan states to fair compensation for the ecological services they provide to the country (water, clean air, carbon sequestration, climate moderation). These states, supported by a large number of advocacy groups, had demanded a Green Bonus of Rs. 50000 crores over the five year period of 2026-2031. Not only would this have been fair compensation, these funds would have met their developmental needs without having to resort to unsustainable  exploitation of their forests, rivers minerals and tourism potential. Any idiot can see that excessive and unsustainable "development" of the Himalaya (and other mountain ranges like the Aravallis and Western Ghats) is not in the interest of the country as a whole, and that therefore these mountain states should be incentivised not to do so.

But the 16th F.C. failed to see this simple truth. Early reports indicate that it has not provided any Green Bonus; nor has it provided any special grants (outside the Center's discretion, which has now become totally politicised) for climate mitigation or disaster relief. All it has done is tinker with the definition of forests which, in pure financial terms, is meaningless. Even worse, the 16th FC has now discontinued the RDG (Revenue Deficit Grant) which these states had been receiving since 1974, making a huge dent in their finances. They shall now have no option but to continue to ravage the fragile Himalayan environment to fund their development activities.

Whether or not the BJP gains from this year's Budget is a moot question; what is not moot is that the criminal neglect of the environment continues unabated in our planning and funding processes. Ms Sitharaman and her co-pilot in the Finance Commission have just nudged us a bit closer to environmental collapse, and the financial collapse of some states.

NOT JUST AQI, WHAT WE NEED IS A BSI ( BULLSHIT INDEX ).

 ONE has always had the highest admiration and respect for Merryll Streep' s acting qualities, graceful beauty and composure. To these qualities I should now add her strong moral conviction and the courage to speak out: her take down of Trump at the recent Golden Globe awards function was something to watch, and won her a standing ovation. (Hopefully our Bollywood marionettes watched it too). But I find that she is also relevant to the India of today: as proof, here is another of her statements:

" Funny thing about getting older, your eyesight starts getting weaker but your ability to see through people's bullshit gets much better."

I can vouch for the fact that never was a truer word spoken: at three score and fifteen, I can no longer spot the prettiest lady in a crowd before Neerja can bat an eyelid  (as I was wont to earlier), and I take quite a few wrong turns on the road as the traffic signs have become as blurred as Mr. Modi's visions for 2047, but give me a piece of bullshit and I can spot it for what it is instantly, through the layers of grandstanding, hypocrisy and ignorance which is the hallmark of our government and ruling classes.

IIT Kanpur got it all wrong when it diagnosed the NCR smog as consisting mainly of vehicle emissions, construction dust and paddy burning. It failed to detect a major ingredient- Bullshit (BS)- whose particles- BS 2.5 by lesser politicos and BS 10 by Ministers- have seen a major increase since 2014. These emissions are usually disguised as droplets of nationalism, religious revivalism or Viksit Bharat slogans. They affect, not the lungs, but the IQ of the residents here, which explains why the BJP keeps winning elections. In fact, I have a theory about this: the lower the IQ of a particular place, the higher its AQI readings. To test this thesis I am now looking for a nerd who can build a  B***S**T Index (BSI).

Readers would be well aware of the blasts of BS sprayed on a regular basis by those who decide the nation's destiny- that there is no connection between air pollution and lung diseases, that 2025 was the "cleanest" year in Delhi's history, that AQI and temperature are one and the same, that the EU trade deal is the "mother of all deals" (which presumably would make the Trade deal with the USA the "mother-in-law" of all deals), that mountains should be defined by height, not their ecological importance, that that those who feed stray dogs should keep them in their homes- the largest adoption programme in the world's history, considering that there are 70 million of these community dogs, that the US SEC's summons could not be served on Adani because it did not have an official stamp, that the globally acclaimed Sonam Wangchuk   is a security threat to India, that we need to take "revenge" for centuries of occupation by outside forces, that it is one Chief Minister's personal mission to hound a minority community and expel six lakhs of them from the state's voter list, that trade unions are responsible for the country's lack of progress. It's a long list, folks, and getting longer with each BJP election victory, which is why the smog keeps getting thicker.

But the mother of all BS 10's was discharged recently by our suave, foreign university educated (MBA, University of Pennsylvania) bureaucrat-turned-billionaire Railway Minister who announced that he was banning the wearing of "bandh gallas" in the Railways because it was a (British) "colonial legacy." Now, generations of IAS officers will agree that the bandhgalla is the nearest they have got to a hangman's noose, that it is an instrument of torture, especially during the summer months. It needs to go, for climatic reasons. But to banish it because it is a colonial vestige reeks of  ignorance and hypocrisy posturing as nationalism and  "desh bhakti". It also indicates that the Hon' Minister suffers from both long and short term memory loss.

He forgot that the "bandhgalla" is not a British invention-it (or a close variant of it) was the formal dress of the Mughal courts and the ruling families of Mewar and Rajasthan; the more showy "achkan" or "sherwani" also belongs to this apparel family. Worse, by landing up in Davos just a week later in a three-piece suit- an indisputably British attire - he not only displayed short term memory loss but also his lack of sincerity about banishing colonialism! 

Did he also forget that the whole system of railways in India was built by the British, replacing the humble bullock-cart, and changing the face of the country? Would he also like to ban (with a little help from the RSS, no doubt) the English language, the University system of education, allopathy, nuclear technology and the watch, sunglasses and pens which adorn our Prime Minister's personage, all products of colonial nations?                                                         Maybe he would like to rethink his passion for all things "colonial", be a bit more discriminatory and focus on those things and practices which truly reflect the worst of the colonial past and have no place in a modern India. Here is a short list:

Unelected (and usually unelectable) Governors who behave like Viceroys and lord it over elected governments; Raj Bhavans which function as opulent embassies of the Center in the states (and sometimes as dens of conspiracy); summer vacations of Supreme Court judges (even though tens of thousands of cases are pending in that court and no other institution enjoys this facility); the humiliating practice of addressing judges as "Mluds" in a free country; the royal trappings of just about everything in Rashtrapati Bhavan, including a cavalry regiment exclusively dedicated to escorting the President, on the lines of the Praetorian Guard of the Roman emperors, or the Garde Imperial of Napoleon, or the Gardes Suisses or the Gardes Francaisses of the Swiss and French monarchs, respectively. The President is no monarch, (or at least so we hope), and there is no need to display such in-your-face-pomp to the citizens of a democracy, especially when it comes at such a cost.

There are plenty of colonial practices which need to be jettisoned, but we can surely do better than begin with the bandhgalla ? When B***S**t becomes state policy, one has to agree with the dude who redefined Pranayam as : Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit. Which is why we need a BSI, folks

WHATSAPP AND THE NEED FOR A DIGITAL DETOX .

 If you ask me, this WhatsApp (WA) texting is getting quite out of hand. I'm no social spark, my social skills being on par with a grizzly just emerging from a four month hibernation, but even I find about 20-25 new messages on my phone when I wake up of a morning. And during the course of the day there will be about another 30 or so. Of this, only about 5 will convey anything meaningful, the rest will be rubbish- generic religious greetings, homilies on how to live well, quotations from unheard sages, all kinds of fake news, RIP messages. Some of these I find intriguing. Let me explain.

Take the RIPs. What's the point of sending an RIP on a group chat if a member or relative/friend of one has passed on? How does that console the effected family? Would it not make more sense if the message were sent directly to the family of the deceased? Is the intention of the messaging to make a public display of your concern or to show genuine sympathy or grief ? If the former, wouldn't it be better to take out a two column insert in the TRIBUNE or TIMES OF INDIA?

Then come the proforma greetings- Happy Republic Day! Happy New Year! Happy Women's Day! Happy Ganesh Chaturthi! Now, apart from the fact that there is little happiness attached to any of these occasions nowadays, not one of these messages is usually composed by the sender- all of them are "Forwards"! These are "pass through" wishes, second hand greetings: this alone says a lot about their sincerity or genuineness. And what's the ruddy point of all this, considering that your cup of happiness is already overflowing since every blessed day of the year is "Happy something or the other"?

Even the "news" or informatory items are usually "forwards", rarely does the sender verify their authenticity or give his own views, and one doesn't have a clue why it has been sent. No only is this  intellectual laziness at its worst, it also assumes that you are an ignoramus who has no idea of what is going on in the world and therefore needs to be reminded every half hour!

I usually delete all such messages without even reading them. In addition, I have on my WA groups a mental list of such serial offenders and delete their messages without even looking at them. So, you may well ask, why am I getting so riled up about all this?

Because, dear reader, there's an environmental cost to this digital diarrhea. The internet contributes more to global pollution levels than the Aviation sector- 3.7 % as against the latter's 3%. Globally, 150 billion WA messages are texted every day (this is in addition to 300 billion emails !) Every WA (or email) message generates 0.3 to 0.7 gms of CO2; attached pictures, video or audio increase this to 17 gms. (This is the result of the energy needed to power your device, servers, and the data centres that store the data). Not much to bother about, you might say. But do the maths to understand my angst.          India has about 800 million WA users; assuming each user sends just 20 messages a day, the daily total comes to 16 billion messages. Assume again that each message contributes 0.5 gms of CO2, the daily emission is 10 grams per user. Extrapolating this for 800 million users, the pollution contribution by Whatsapp comes to 8000 tonnes per day or 2,920,000 tonnes per annum.

The contributions of Gmail, Netflix, Youtube are in addition, and much higher. The latest to join the polluting bandwagon is AI whose data centers consume humungous amounts of power (and water): the AI chatbot Chat GTP's emissions per month are equivalent to 260  flights from New York to London! The digital carbon footprint, currently almost 4% of total emissions, is expected to double in the next five years.

As in other areas of consumption, we must be more responsible, and  incorporate digital, or data, hygiene in our use of the internet. Apart from putting a stop to unnecessary texting, experts advise that we should clear out our old and dated stored messages, photos and videos regularly, avoid sending attachments unnecessarily, unsubscribe from unwanted news letters, compress docs before sending them, stop this pernicious and fashionable practice of "binge-watching". It is not necessary to forward every message received on WhatsApp to all and sundry simply to show how well connected, or informed, you are; moreover, chances are that most of these folks would already have received these messages from others who think just as you do!  Try and spend one day in a week without sending any messages. Every little bit helps and we need to practice digital detoxing on a regular basis. If not, stop complaining about the AQI: a country gets the leaders-and AQI- it deserves.  

 

WOULD YOU LIKE THE GOOD NEWS FIRST OR THE BAD NEWS ?

 I've been away from my village in Himachal for the last three months and am beginning to feel homesick; the remedy, Neerja tells me, is to write about the latest news from the state. I can ignore her advice only at my peril, so here goes. But since there is both good news and bad news to convey, which should I relate first? I am in a bit of a quandary, like the French Foreign Legion officer who had been besieged for weeks by a bunch of fierce Bedouins. Finally he assembles his men and addresses them:

"Mes braves, I have some bad news and some good news, which would you like to hear first?"

"The bad news first!" is the roar.

" Well, the bad news is that we are out of food. We only have camel dung to eat now."

"What is the good news, then, mon colonel?"

" I am happy to tell you that there is plenty of camel dung to last us weeks!"

See the genius of this approach folks? Always end your spiel on a hopeful note, even if it doesn't do much to alter the state of affairs. So let's begin with the not-so-good news from my state this week since there's plenty of camel dung, if not bull shit, to go around these days.

 The youthful PWD Minister, Mr. Vikramaditya Singh, whose political career so far has been much shorter than his name, made a public statement last week that has caused much confusion in the corridors of power and consternation among the bureaucracy. In an interview he charged IAS/IPS and IFS officers from outside the state (i.e. non-Himachal officers) of showing no concern or interest in the state's welfare, of being interested only in their own power and perks, and of continuing to maintain links with the opposition (BJP) parties. This has created a huge controversy, fractured the council of Ministers and led to strong protests by the IAS and IPS Officers' Associations. For some strange reason the Indian Forest Service chaps have remained silent.

Now, had this been a generic statement, applicable across the spectrum of bureaucracy, the Minister would have been correct in all three assertions. But by singling out only "outside" officers for his accusation, and creating a rift between them and the "insiders", Mr. Singh has revealed his immaturity, ignorance of the structure of the All India Services, political naivette, frustration and perhaps a personal agenda that has not been fulfilled. He has, in addition, done great disservice to his late father, Virbhadra Singh, a six-time Chief Minister and undoubtedly the tallest leader the state has had since the first Chief Minister, Dr. YS Parmar. Virbhadra Singh was successful precisely because he understood the bureaucracy, its skills and deficiencies, and handled it with remarkable skill, like one would a spirited pedigreed horse- with regard but with the reins kept tight. His son has a lot to learn from him.

It is not without reason that Sardar Patel had imposed a 50:50 ratio of "insiders" and "outsiders' for allotment of AIS officers to a state (something Vikramaditya Singh is now implicitly challenging). Officers from outside- the expatriates- bring a new and fresh perspective to the issues confronting a state, they are less influenced by local politics, they are not indebted to any powers within that state and therefore not required to repay any of those debts, they have no extended families to favour, they encourage inter-state integration. All these attributes are supposed to (and do) contribute to a better, objective and unbiased administration, one which functions without fear or favour. If this does not happen (which is quite often) it is not because of the "outsiders" but because of forces which effect both the outsiders and insiders, perhaps the latter even more so. These forces are agnostic in nature- they do not effect just one group or the other- whether it be corruption, lethargy, rent seeking, politicisation or display of power. This is not to deny that there are some expatriate officers who have no attachment to their allotted state and continuously seek to go on central deputation, but these are a minuscule majority and it is neither fair nor factual to tar the entire lot with the same exclusionary and parochial brush. If the Minister had some grievance/complaint against some individual officer/s (which appears to be the case) it would have been appropriate for him to have taken up the matter with the Chief Minister privately, rather than vent his royal spleen publicly.

The unfortunate effect of Vikramaditya Singh's statement is to sow-perhaps unintendedly- another note of divisiveness in a smorgasbord of already existing divisions in the civil services- of caste, region, economic background, political affiliations, etc. Considering that it is these services which are holding the country together in these difficult times, we can do without an additional fracture of morale and cohesiveness. I am sure the late Chief Minister (under whom I have served for more than twenty years) would not have approved of such a statement, and it would be right if his son withdrew his accusation or apologised for it. He is still young enough to say Sorry.

                                  ( Sissu lake and village. Photo by Ankit Sud. )

And now the good news. Sissu panchayat of the sub-district of Lahaul (the other side of the Atal tunnel) has had enough: in a resolution on 8th January, 2026   it has decreed that all tourism related activities in the panchayat are banned till the beginning of March. Though it says that this has been done to preserve the culture, traditions, way of life, rituals and natural environment of the area, I suspect that this is a pushback to the over-tourism that now plagues most of the state. The fragile ecology of Lahaul cannot cope with the 20000 vehicles that cross the tunnel every day, or the plastics, human waste and atrocious behaviour that their occupants leave behind.

                    (Sissu village with Gepan peak in background. Photo by Rahul Sud).

The decision should not be viewed as one which is hostile to tourists, but as an appeal for more respectful and sustainable tourism. For the choice for the tribal residents of Sissu is not an easy one- they have to choose between livelihood and preservation of their way of life and ecology from the destructive footprints of the I-don't -give-a-damn tourist. I am glad they have made the right decision, in favour of giving themselves and nature some recovery time every year. I hope that other similarly placed panchayats will also display the same boldness and foresight and follow suit. It is, of course, too much to expect the state government to show the same sense of responsibility and firmness.

EUROPE SHOULD REMEMBER THAT BEFORE GREENLAND THERE WAS - AND IS- A GAZA

Folks who know me are aware that I am no diplomat; the only piece of diplomacy I know is that one should take a quick, and long, walk in the forest if one has forgotten to wish the wife on one's wedding anniversary. But even such a geo-politically challenged individual can figure out what is happening today in the year 1AT (After Trump): the new global order looks like a sequel to Pirates of the Caribbean, with western "leaders" being made to walk the plank by a Captain Barbossa in the White House. And guess what? I'm happy about it all, because they deserve it.

One strategically placed, massive lump of ice in the Arctic has exposed the leaders of the countries of Western Europe, or the European Union, for the cynical hypocrites, racists, spineless transactionalists and colonists that they really are. Trump's threats and moves on "acquiring" Greenland (something he has coveted since his first term) have the Melonis, Starmers, Macrons, Freidrich Merzs and Von der Leyens now running around like headless chickens, screaming that the global "rules based order" is in danger and that Trump cannot violate the territorial sovereignty of another country. But that is exactly what all these morally defunct charlatans have been doing for the last three years in their fawning support for the genocide being waged daily in Palestine by the USA and Israel.

The USA has always been a predatory state- remember the "war against Communism" in Vietnam,  Bay of Pigs in Cuba, the toppling of Patrice Lumumba in the Congo (1960), the coup against Mossadegh in Iran (1953), the ouster of Manuel Noriega in Panama (1989), the more recent attacks on the sovereignty of Afghanistan, Iraq and Libya? Remember also the support it provided to the savagery of tyrants like Pinochet and Somoza? But it did all this "legally"- building concensus, obtaining approval of its own Congress and the United Nations- in order to maintain the fig leaf cover of the rules based order. In Gaza and Palestine (and most recently in Venezuela), however, it discarded even this minimum vegetation of an excuse, giving all of us a sense of where it was ultimately headed-unilateral domination by force, grabbing of resources (oil, land, minerals) by replacing the rules based order with a "might based order".

For the last three years it has allowed-nay, enabled- a blood thirsty Netanyahu to murder a half a million Palestinians, continue with a planned genocide and forced displacement of millions more, convert the lives of the survivors into a living hell with no food, water, medical aid or education. It provided this Zionist Mephistopeles with billions of dollars of funding, weapons and munitions and the veto cover in the UN. And Europe did nothing- yes, the same Europe which is now so concerned about the rights of 56000 people in Greenland. Like, the 7 million Palestinians in Gaza and the West Bank have no rights? Or is it that they don't have white skins? Or that Mediterranean beach front real estate is more profitable than the frozen permafrost of Greenland?

Actually, it's probably not correct to say that the EU marionettes did nothing while 200000 women and children in Palestine were being slaughtered by Israel. No, sir, they were actually quite busy- holding innumerable conferences where only proforma noises were made over bagels and coffee, sending more weapons to Israel, concluding even more trade deals with the Zionist country, blocking every move in the UN to stop the destruction of Gaza and the usurpation of Palestine, cautioning Greata Thunberg against breaking the maritime siege of Gaza but doing nothing to help her in her relief efforts (actually, Ms. Meloni did consider giving her a naval escort but then decided that it was safer to go back to writing her autobiography), praising Trump's Gaza "Peace Plan" (they would all naturally get a slice of the Mar-o-Gaza on the Mediterranean.

In retrospect, one should not be surprised that Western Europe dipped its hands willingly in the blood shed by Israel and successive US Presidents in Gaza. It was perhaps constrained by its own colonial history, by the guilt of its own genocide and persecution of Jews in the past, by its latent racism. It did nothing.

And then Venezuela happened. It did nothing.

But now the monster it had nurtured is knocking on its own doors and it has no defence- moral, legal, or military. The United Nations cannot help because these same countries have defenestrated it with Trump's backing. They have no sympathisers or support in the Global South, all of whom have, at some time in the past and the present, been exploited by these partners-in-crime of Trump. In Greenland Europe now has to deal with a psychopathic President in an advanced stage of dementia, a Mafia boss, a Capo-di-tutti-Capi whose ideology is based on extortion, theft and violence.

The tables have turned for Western Europe, the hunter has become the hunted, in a way, and it does not know how to deal with it. It has always sided with the USA-Israel axis in their illegal attacks on the Middle East, and in Afghanistan and Venezuela. For years it has sown the wind and now, with Greenland, it is time to reap the whirlwind. And worse is in store for it. As Ed Luce, the Editor of the Financial Times, told Karan Thapar in an interview this week, Europe is on the way to irrelevance. The world is headed for a tri-polar status, with the USA, Russia and China carving out and controlling their own backyards. There will be no place for Europe at the high table: it can cluster around its little "pond", bemoan its lack of conscience and spine, and continue (in the apt words of Mani Shankar Aiyar in another context), its "snivelling in the shadows of power."

THE LAST LAUGH.

 The year 2025, vandalised by the likes of Trump, Netanyahu and Putin, is now thankfully history and I earnestly hope we see the backs of these war criminals in the year ahead. But that should not distract us from making our own New Year resolutions. Mine is inspired by that athenian, observant avian of the jungle night- the owl. And since we are all agreed that what prevails in the world, and in India, is the law of the jungle, I shall model myself on this discerning philosopher in order to survive the coming year, ocassionally emitting two hoots or a blog en passant. And I begin the year with something about which I think a lot these days- death- since I wish I were dead every time either the Donald or Mr. Sambit Patra open their capacious mouths, or every time the Supreme Court delivers a judgment.  

Let me begin this new mission with an account of a recent visit to the Lodhi Road crematorium in New Delhi, an occurrence which has become all too frequent, sadly, as I pile on the years to my biodata. Outside the electric crematorium there is a board which says all there is to say about the hubris of our rulers, buried under layers of insensitivity:

 Delhi's bureaucrats are generally faceless, which is probably a blessing to the citizens of this beleaguered city surrounded by so much ugliness! But it is in the DNA of a bureaucrat to be want to be noticed, so they occasionally give in to the temptation of laying a foundation stone or two provided, of course, that a Minister has not beaten them to it. So one can see the odd Stone in front of a building or flyover or bus-stop, and one doesn't grudge them these little sops. But inaugurating a cremation platform or shed? Who would ever consent to such a ghoulish idea? Someone has, in the Lodhi Road Crematorium (see the picture above). Just outside a shed with four platforms (donated by ONGC) is a stone on which is engraved the name of the worthy (a Director in the Ministry of Urban Development) who " inaugurated" this unit a few years back! Is this macabre, or am I being too severe on him? Sometimes I wonder- did they also arrange four dead bodies to cremate for his benefit, and was he given the honour of lighting the flames, in a devilish twist to the time honoured Hindu tradition of lighting the sacred lamp? Did he have to glorify himself at the very spot which should remind us of "dust unto dust", ashes to ashes?                                                                          Now, politicians and bureaucrats love inaugurations, to carve their names in stone for posterity; nothing is off limits- public latrines, roads that have not yet been built, hospitals without equipment or doctors, schools without teachers. I have seen a first-class concrete bridge standing over a stream in Bathad in Kullu district, duly inaugurated by some local politico, even though there was no sign of any road leading up to it on either side of the river! But one would have thought that, even for this hardened lot, a crematorium would be a no-no.

We Indians take death too seriously, notwithstanding our spiritual belief that it is just a transition from the body to the eternal soul, a release- " Moksha"- from all mortifications of the flesh. We remember the dead with sadness and despair, and ourselves descend into despondency, and relive the depressing memory every year by holding grim functions. No doubt, some of this is due to the Brahmin pundits who can stay in business the longer they can keep you in this miserable state. But it is also due to our taking ourselves too seriously and refusing to lighten up or letting go.

   We lack the god-given gift of humour which is the best antidote to misery and sorrow. In a funny way even the graveyard brand of humour reinforces the love we had for the departed, and imbues our memories of them with fondness, which tempers the inevitable sadness, and makes the latter more bearable. This is not to decry the loss of a loved one but to remember him/her the way they would have liked us to: surely, they would like us to be happy, not moping all the time ? We should learn something from those humorists and writers who can chuckle at themselves even in death- or at death. There is a whole genre of graveyard jokes and I would like to share some of them with the reader. For these I am indebted to my brother-in-law Colonel (retired)  Amit Shukla who has promised to relate a few at my graveside in the highly likely event that he out-lives me (being a fauji, he has pickled himself in liquor from a very young age, and we all know the preservative qualities of hooch). Here are a few of the best epitaphs to remember:

 [1]   In a New Hampshire cemetery:

                 Tears cannot restore her

                 therefore I weep.

[2]   In a London cemetery ( about a spinster):

                  Here lies Ann Mann,

                  who lived an old maid

                  but died an old Mann.

[3]   In Kilmurry churchyard, Ireland:

                  This stone was raised by Sara's Lord

                   Not Sara's virtues to record,

                   For they are known to all the town.

                   This stone was raised to keep her down.

[4]   A lawyer's epitaph in London:

                  Sir John Strange.

                  Here lies an honest lawyer,

                  And that is strange.

[5]   On an auctioneer's grave:

                    Jeddiah Goodwin. Auctioneer.

                    Going!

                    Going!

                    Gone!

[6]   On an Attorney's grave:

                    John E Goembel. 1867-1946.

                    The defence rests.

[7]   In a Uniontown, Pennsylvania cemetery:

                    Here lies the body

                    0f Jonathan Blake

                    Stepped on the gas

                    Instead of the brake.

   I am fairly inspired by these epitaphs to want to have one for myself when, in the goodness of time, the lord decides that I have inflicted enough misery on the reading public and orders me off this planet. But, knowing that my friends are too lazy to attempt anything but an SMS or an emoji, I have prepared my own epitaph for my grave at Purani Koti, Mashobra. It goes like this:

      AVAY SHUKLA.  BORN- 1950.  BRAIN DEAD- circa 1995. LEGALLY DEAD- 20XX

                    " Here lies an unrepentant IAS soul.

                      One we were wary, but proud, of.

                      It was his boast

                      He could handle any post,

                      But he's now in a hole

                      He can't dig himself out of!"

We come into this world crying; lets leave it laughing; if one can't have the last word (at least while the wife is still hanging around on this mortal coil) let's at least have the last laugh!

[ P.S. Did you just hear a hoot of laughter emanating from the bushes?]