Friday, 29 April 2022

THE SECRETS OF HIMACHAL'S HAPPINESS QUOTIENT

    Notwithstanding 88 episodes of Man Ki Baat and the chanting of Hanuman Chalisa at every street corner, India continues to be one of the unhappiest nations on earth: it is ranked at 136 out of 146 countries. But till now we were not aware of the inter-se ranking of our individual states. Now, however, we have a survey that does so, conducted by the HR firm Happy Plus Consulting . According to this report, Himachal is the happiest state in the country, and Uttar Pradesh the unhappiest. That last bit is no surprise, actually. What else can one expect in a state where a man of holy orders is wont to issue unholy orders, where the IPC has been replaced with the JCB and where the state spends more resources on concealing deaths than on preventing them ?

   But coming back to my state. I have spent 46 years in Himachal and fully endorse the finding about its pre-eminent happiness quotient and, having little else to do, will reflect on why the "pahariyas" are such a joyful lot. One reason could be found in another report- a survey by the online platform AMBROSIA, which tracks all things pertaining to liquor consumption in the country. According to Ambrosia, Himachal is among the seven top states in the country in terms of per capita liquor consumption. And this does not even include the "angoori" and "ghanti" brewed by just about every household in its tribal districts! The connection between boozing and being happy is difficult to dismiss. And it surely cannot be a coincidence that Punjab, the creator of the Patiala peg, is the second happiest state in India. Himachalis are aware, of course, that alcohol does not solve any of life's problems, but then neither does water or milk, so why not give it an, err, shot? And it appears to be working.

   There are other founts of happiness too. Notwithstanding the tippling, your average Himachali is a sensible chap and regards politicians like he would a canker in his apple crop. He changes the party in government every five years lest the blighters take up permanent abode in his orchard. These two fungi- the Congress and the BJP- have been exchanging power alternately for decades: not that there is anything to distinguish the two parties from each other, other than the Himachali caps they sport: the BJP cap is of a maroon shade (soon to become saffron, I learn) while the Congress one is green (soon to change to rainbow colours if Prashant Kishore has his way). This limited tenure in power ensures that the bulldozers are used only for road construction, illegal mining and deforestation.

   Himachal has been blessed in that the it has not had to suffer the likes of the Bulldozer babas and mamas, or "khela hobe" didis or disappearing behenjis so far in its short history. It is also fortunate that the chameleon does not figure among its abundant wildlife- as yet. Your typical high altitude villager here, deprived of oxygen from a young age, is a simple creature and likes to see things in just two shades- black or white. A chameleon would confuse him, and detract from his happiness quotient. Which is why the imminent entry of that archetypal chameleon- Mr. Kejriwal- and his party into the state is not good news. The Aam Aadmi Party's smoothie of soft Hindutva, xeroxed nationalism, fake probity, and opportunistic secularism would be too complex a blend for the unsophisticated Himachali mind. Methinks the good burghers of the state may have to augment their tippling to ensure that a different coloured cap- white- does not enter the state.

   The businessmen and contractors here, unlike their counterparts in Karnataka, are a happy lot too. The payola and hush money has been kept at reasonable and affordable levels and is linked to the RBI's repo rate to negate any volatility in the market. It was not always so, till in the early 80's a frustrated contractor from Mandi wrote to the government demanding to know what the approved rate of bribery in the state was, and requested for a copy of the relevant government notification. Since then the rates have been standardised, which has done much to improve the ease of doing business in the state. Now everyone is happy- the contractor or vendor knows by what percent he has to inflate his bills, the babu can better plan his retirement corpus, and the public knows exactly how many potholes to expect in every kilometer of road. Predictability makes for a sound business environment.

   The primary cause of unhappiness in other states- the police- are a benign lot in Himachal. Their only "encounters' are with the occasional bear in Bharmour, the last lathi charge was in 1982 in Bilaspur ( when I was Deputy Commissioner there and had mis-read some provisions of the CRPC), and they abhor any kind of violence like Amit Malviya abhors the truth. To prove this last point: one evening, when I was still in service, I was loitering on Mall road in Shimla, trying to decide whether I should buy a book from Minerva or have a plate of chhole bhatura in Baljee's. Suddenly a violent fracas broke out in front of Gaiety Theater, a bunch of Haryanvi tourists expressing themselves in their lingua franca- fisticuffs, kicks, brickbats and the traditional references to mothers and sisters. Three patrolling women police constables observed the scene placidly for about five minutes and then one said to the others: "I think we should call the police", and off they went to the police post! If at all Himachal police indulge in violence, it is usually against their own kind, not the public, as was demonstrated last year when the Kullu SP (Supdt. of Police) roundly slapped the Head of the Chief Minister's security detail. Peace and brotherliness was restored when the SP allowed himself to be walloped in return. Such understanding is rare and the citizens are a happier lot for it.

  Another reason for Himachal's happiness is that it is confident of itself as it is well represented in the country's power structure : in Anupam Kher it has a pre-eminent bhakt (if a doubtful Kashmiri pundit); the Great Khali was breaking heads and stones in Sirmour district long before he made it to WWF; Mr. JP Nadda, the BJP President belongs to the state; Priyanka Gandhi owns a lovely cottage near Kufri; Mr. Vajpayee used to frequently visit Prini village near Manali where he had built himself a farm house; Mr. Modi claims to have spent many years in the forests and mountains here, though nobody remembers seeing him, just as nobody recollects seeing him in college. But here, folks, is the clincher- would you not be ecstatic if you had Kangana Ranaut or Preity Zinta as your next-door neighbour ?

   I rest my case.  

11 comments:

  1. The rested case is totally agreed upon avay....!!!!! From one happy himachali to another...😇😊😄!!!!!! 🥂🥂...!! You compel me to think of PG Wodehouse at time...!! God bless...

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  2. Yes, himachalis have much to smile about after reading your blog thereby increasing their happiness quotient.
    Cheers to that.

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  3. Sir, you put truth and facts in a wrapping of intellect and language so well that it is difficult to take eyes off your writing. A true warrior of time who is giving food for thought to the generation.

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  4. Laughed till I cried,as always. Loved that bit about Kejru.

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  5. I have had my share of Himachal during the over two years I was posted there as the Commander of the Army Training Command, and I liked what I saw and felt. I had toured quite a bit in this beautiful State, especially in remote areas. One of my observations was that practically every family in HP has at least one member in the government! During my time, I saw governments being set up by the rival parties and both were as good or as bad as the other one, thus supporting the view that Avay has articulated. But why discredit the third element creeping in now, viz. AAP; they should also get a chance!

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  6. Born and bred in Himachal I have always maintained that there simply was no better place or environment for a child to grow up in. It was heaven.

    I hate to burst Avay's bubble, but I use the past tense very consciously.

    While we sold our house (Daizy Bank) in the mid 80s, since my mother in law still lives in Simla, while somewhat infrequent, I do wend my way up once in a while. Every time I visit, it breaks my heart even more. The concrete jungle replacing the natural one and growing in leaps and bounds and swallowing up the hills is alarming and an eyesore. Ugly buildings which simply just do not belong in the hills. The concrete jungle extends way beyond Simla, on the drive up from Kalka, Solan leaves my jaw hanging while heading towards Avay's private piece of heaven, Sanjauli and Dhalli makes one wonder which planet one has landed in.

    The bottom line being that every single day I thank my lucky stars that a series of coincidences through many years led to me permanently planting myself up in the hills at the other extreme end of the country to Himachal. And, believe it or not, at almost the same altitude I grew up in.

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  7. General, I have been an avid AAP supporter and have voted for them twice in the Delhi elections. But I do not like the way the party is evolving. Mr Kejriwal is becoming an unscrupulous politician and an opportunist, without any firm ideology or commitment to values. He does not take a stand on visceral issues, whether it was the farm bills earlier or the Jehangirpuri violence now. He skirts the persecution of Muslims for fear of jeopardizing the Hindu vote, and in Jehangirpuri he put the entire blame on Rohingyas and Bangladeshis, thus implicitly endorsing the BJP's fake narrative. This is unprincipled, immoral and craven pandering to the lowest level of politics. He does this constantly because he feels that the minorities in Delhi will in any case have no choice but to vote for him. But they will see through his game sooner or later. We don't need the likes of him in Himachal: he cannot win here but will eat into the Congress votes and ensure a win for the BJP.

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    1. I agree with your views on Kejriwal.

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    2. Until now, whenever I have voted, whether for the Lok Sabha or Assembly elections, it has always been for the Congress Party, regardless of who the candidates were(some of them were undesirables, to say the least). After the last Assembly elections in Karnataka for which I voted for the first time after I retired, most of the successful Congress candidates defected to the BJP. In effect those of us who voted for the Congress effectively voted for the BJP, which is anathema to me.
      I had therefore decided never to vote in my life again, at least not until the Congress was purged of the Gandhi family.
      But, regardless of what you might say, Kejriwal is the lesser villain(though he is desperately trying to build himself in the image of Modi), and AAP has an enviable administrative track record in Delhi.
      If AAP intends to make a foray into Karnataka in the forthcoming Assembly elections in 2023, as indeed Kejriwal has indicated, I will make a beeline to the polling station and unreservedly cast my ballot for AAP as being at least the only viable stop gap party to halt the BJP juggernaut. Let's also face the bitter but hard truth that none of the opposition parties, least of all the Congress in its current moribund state under its present leadership, come anywhere close to the BJP's professionally managed organisational strength and idelogically committed grass root cadres.

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  8. Way back in the late 80s and early 90s, Himachal was indeed paradise. The men would be found trudging along the roadsides, the likes of us trekkers not knowing where and for what. The women were beautiful - they still are - with blushing apples for cheeks that turned rosy when they'd crinkle their faces into a laugh!

    That was the time when JK had ceded its pole position to HP as the favoured destination of holiday makers and trekkers. Doing solo trips behind the Rohtang, with just a dome tent, a sleeping bag and a rucksack, not knowing when one would return to Delhi, was the ultimate pleasure after taking the exams. The trek from Kasol to Malana - two nights in that quaint mountain kingdom with only the indigenous people or foreigners - and a solo Frenchman who longed to marry the local Malanese's daughter out of desperation for female company - are part of my indelible memories of HP as the most joyous place in the world.

    One of my most saddening trips was the trek I had taken in 1991. Returning down the Rohtang I could sense a certain unnatural quietude, as if nature was weeping. There was no rustling of the breeze that afternoon, perceptibly less movement of people, not even the crimson on the lovely cheeks of the local belles. It just did not appear "Himachal". The time was the early afternoon of 22nd May 1991 as I entered Manali. That was when I was told that Rajiv Gandhi had been blown up the night before. I still feel the numbness which came over me at that instant. The mind froze into stupor and one was overcome with an emptiness the whole day. I could no longer continue with that year's trek and two days later found myself on the bus back to Delhi.

    Cut to the present - Himachal is rapidly turning into a hideous combination of planned infrastructure development and unplanned residential construction.
    The slopes of Shimla are not to be seen….affluent locals have shifted to Mumbai and Delhi and converted their properties into plush condominiums with elite names. The ultra modern amenities of a Mumbai highrise are being introduced to Shimla and Manali. One developer I know had plans of heated flooring!!
    I am told that "outsiders" or non domiciled individuals cannot own land in Himachal. High Rise apartments, however, are a different thing. One can anytime buy a plush duplex at an elite project by mere signature of a cheque and a pre-decided amount of cash! And contribute to the further depredation of Shimla or Manali.

    As to elite neighbours - I am not sure I find Avay Shukla's incentive of rubbing shoulders and hips with a highland lass like Kangana to be motivation sufficient to reside in Himachal….she is forever prickly wherever she be, and her unstoppable intelligence on all matters within and outside of interstellar boundaries is far too much for my limited faculties.

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  9. It's the all too common story of any unspoilt place. 'Unspoilt' is by definition any place where human presence is rarest. The surest, guaranteed way to spoil an unspoilt place you may have discovered - is to talk about it.




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