All the signs of the Second Coming, as foretold in the Bible, are visible: wars and conflicts, natural disasters, lawlessness and moral decay of society. Increasingly, however, it would appear that the event shall happen, not in Bethlehem or Palestine, but in India. A new God is about to be born here. The omens and clues have been there for some time: the presiding over the "sengol" in a new Parliament, the displacing of the Shankaracharyas at the inauguration of the new Ram Mandir in Ayodhya, the Shivji type of meditative posture in a Kedarnath cave, the non-biological claims, the direct communion with the Gods. And if anyone still had any doubts, the recent birthday celebrations of the prime candidate for the job should dispel them like tear gas at Jantar Mantar. He was worshipped like a God incarnate by the faithful, the powerful, the 37% of the country who have been ideologically lobotomised, "diyas" lit for his long life, "bhajans" sung in his praise, I believe even temples erected for his eternal exaltation and glorification.
It appears to me that the stage is set for a new religion,Moditva, to replace Hindutva. The latter has served its purpose: religions must evolve to suit the zeitgeist of the times, new Gods must be brought in as lateral entry to strengthen the divine cadre, the scriptures must be reinterpreted to conform to the new ruling and fashionable ideology of the head priests, the loaves of office will be the new "prasad" on offer, the hosannas will now be digitized through EVMs. These are tectonic shifts in the religious firmament, the old deities can no longer meet the new job description, their CVs are dated. A new God, a new religion are needed. Mr. Modi and Moditva will fit the bill nicely, thank you.
Expect the proselytization in favour of Moditva to begin in earnest now, notwithstanding the many anti-conversion laws that bedevil other religions.. Actually, this job is already half done with Universities and colleges, "autonomous" institutions, the civil services and the top brass of the defense forces, Bollywood, the media, RWAs, already brought into the fold; the judiciary needs a few more strategically prodded Collegium postings to be fully baptised. The rest shall be done by Apostle Gyanesh Kumar.
There may, however, be a problem with this Move Over, RSS ! moment. Will this hoary organisation, founded on the old Hindutva ethos, simply play ball and turn belly up? Or will it see Mr. Modi's Second Coming as its own Final Going ? And is the new Godhood even possible without the RSS singing hymns and psalms to it ? These questions shall be answered, methinks, not at Phillipi , but in Uttar Pradesh next year. Till then, dear reader, join a choir and start practicing. There is much singing to be done yet.
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The SIR (Special Intensive Revision) started as a catastrophe in Bihar and Bengal but has now become a farce in Delhi. India is perhaps the only country in the world (outside the totalitarian ambit) where even retired judges, an ex-Vice President, a serving Election Commissioner, Chief Ministers of states, a retired Army Chief, retired Ambassadors, a former Deputy Prime Minister, the Chief of its premier federal investigative agency-all pillars of the nation- have to prove their voter status and citizenship. Even though they have all voted in the past and have adorned the highest posts in the land! They are in the company of 4 million other Delhi voters, almost 40% of the existing voter list. Who says we are one of the world's leading unequal nations ? With his indiscriminate carpet bombing of voters Mr. Gyanesh Kumar has not only struck a blow for equity, but has also reduced our population by 130 million, as Mr. SY Quraishi has pointed out. Expect the Ministry of (Fudged) Statistics to rework our GDP and per Capita Income as an offering to the new deity.
There are, of course, many explanations for this farce. AI experts are of the view that this was bound to happen - with the Election Commission itself having gone rogue, it was inevitable that the AI agents in its algorithms too would turn rogue. Others believe that this was a false flag operation, the result of our close ties with Israel-by deliberately targeting the creme-de-creme of past and present governments, the ECI is debunking the charge that the exercise is meant to delete minorities and vulnerable sections who do not vote for the BJP. Can anything be more democratic, transparent and equitable ? A third explanation is that this is a shot across the bows for some- behave your self, or out you go from the voter roll and into Bangladesh !! Our village idiot offered a fourth perspective- that this was Mr. Gyanesh Kumar's first move to, well, move into Rashtrapati Bhavan- a message that he holds all the cards, or votes, and that a mere thirty pieces of silver will not do for him. But I prefer the prognostication of our hamlet's second eminence, the village drunkard who's steeped to his eyeballs with both booze and the latest news- viz. that Gyanesh Kumar, in the light of the latest developments, will be the first sacrificial offering to the new presiding deity of Moditva. He doesn't know it yet, but the cockroaches do, and they've been around for a long time, haven't they?
Which is the correct explanation? I don't know, and I really don't care. All I know is that a farce is no laughing matter. As Samuel Taylor Coleridge said: Farce is nearer tragedy in its essence than comedy is.
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