"TIGER ABHI ZINDA HAI !"-- BUT ELECTIONS ARE IN THE ICU.

  [It was reported by the Satya Hindi news channel, and reiterated by a Congress spokesperson, that after the declaration of the West Bengal results, the CEC Gyanesh Kumar told a group of reporters: "Tiger abhi zinda hai !"]

My faith in the Chief Deletion Commissioner, Mr Gyanesh Kumar (may his tribe decrease), has been fully restored and vindicated: he has lived up to the trust I reposed in him. I fully expected the Election Commission to win the elections in West Bengal, even though it is not a registered political party but only a kind of I-Pac for one of them. And it has won handsomely. Mr. Kumar can now look forward to greener pastures in the days to come, a Governorship, perhaps, or even (as is being whispered in some shady corridors) a Presidentship. The latter post will suit him admirably because a President can only act on the advice of the Council of Ministers, which is precisely what he has been doing for the last many years.

Which brings me to a larger point: why have elections at all, now that ONOE (One Nation One Election) has been converted to ONNE (One Nation No Elections)? After much deliberation and consultations with the divine forces a-la-Chandrachud, I have come to the conclusion that the country would be much better off without elections. There are both macro and micro reasons for my view.

At the macro level, elections are an impediment to the march of democracy: every now and then the government is distracted from its usual job of handing out contracts to cronies, devastating forests, lynching people, building temples, garlanding rapists, bringing down opposition-ruled state governments, etc. in order to get the endorsement of the voters. Why is it necessary to get the voter's consent when it already has the support of the Election Commission, the Supreme Court, the President and the AA twins? It is this unnecessary distraction which has made us amongst the worst performing countries in global indexes related to Equality, Pollution, Press Freedom, Democratic rankings, and so on. ONNE would solve all these problems at one fell stroke.

It would also bring to an end that unique feature of Indian politics- sovereign bribery. Now, bribery is an offence, except when the state does it, and with your money to boot! In our elections ideology, development, social justice etc. have now been replaced with doles, gold mangalsutras, gas cylinders, washing machines, bicycles, sarees and anything else that can rake in a couple of more votes. And it is bankrupting states: Himachal has already started cutting salaries by 30%, Vijay's TVK has promised subsidies and freebies worth more than Rupees one lakh crore per annum, Bengal will now have to borrow money from Bangladesh to keep the bhadralok happy. Our elections are more like auctions now; scrap them and we'll become the second largest economy in the world before you can say "Jai Shri Ram!"

At a micro- that is, personal-level the benefits of ONNE cannot be ignored, either. For one, your domestic staff will not abandon you: during the Bengal election I was orphaned for weeks. My driver went off to Calcutta to vote, the maid to Malda and the washerman to Bankura. They will return in due course, minus a few who may be shoved into Bangladesh, but for those weeks life was not worth living; no amount of democracy is worth it.

And then there's the evening news, of which I am an addict. I like my news hot and spicy- a couple of murders, a rape or two, the occasional encounter killing, a politician caught in a flagrant delicto act, a Judge's outhouse stuffed with moolah, a bulldozer mounted on a masjid. But during elections I get none of these- only Yogendra Yadav or Jawhar Sircar or SY Quraishi talking about EVMs, SIR or the Model Code of Conduct. On a bad day I'll have to be satisfied with Mr. Modi or Mr. Shah on the stump. Life loses all charm, but with ONNE one can get back to the daily dose of violence, sex and Kangana Ranaut's earth-shaking one-liners.

Elections play havoc with relationships. Familial and social intercourse has, for me, been teetering on a knife edge since we gained our independence in 2014: my vocabulary is limited so I tend to call a spade a spade, a fascist a fascist and a bhakt a bhakt. This has not endeared  me to most of my family, colleagues and friends for whom a Hindu Rashtra is the Holy Grail and Mr. Modi its delivery service. Elections, and the inevitable discussions about them, only add fat to the fire: whenever elections are announced my wife moves into the guest bedroom, morning walkers in my Housing society stop wishing me, I'm unable to make a foursome at golf, even my dog refuses to go for a walk with me! With ONNE there will be a sea-change-no opposition, no political discussions, no rallies, no elections. Dinners will become convivial once again, without Republic TV type of debates. Peace will descend again on our twice blessed  nation. Silence will prevail, the silence of the grave. Or, as Omar Khayyam wrote: Thou shalt be- Nothing-thou shalt not be less.

Ah, the comfort of being Nothing!

BETTER TO REIGN IN HELL THAN SERVE IN HEAVEN

 Since these are tricky times, let us begin this week with a trick question: what do the following events have in common with each other ? :

* The huge, and sometimes violent,  protests in NOIDA last month by factory workers and domestic help over increase in minimum wages.

* The refusal of a High Court judge to recuse herself from a case in which her children are employed by one of the parties, and she herself is reported to have attended functions organised by that party's affiliates.

* A "gherao" of judicial officers (appointed as adjudicators in appeals by deleted voters) by thousands of such disenfranchised voters in a district of West Bengal.

* The deletion of names of almost 3 million voters in West Bengal, who had voted in previous elections and possessed all the required documents, because of an opaque, algorithm driven "logical discrepancy" feature not provided in any law or used in any other state.

* The holding of polls without deciding the pending appeals of these 3 million unfortunates, and the callous indifference of the Supreme Court to their constitutional right to vote, saying that they could vote in the next election!

* The imposition of a casteist bail condition on Adivasi Dalits accused (but not convicted) by an Odisha court to the effect that they should clean police stations every morning for two months, demeaning their dignity and making a mockery of the law.

* The defection of seven Rajya Sabha MPs, led by one Raghav Chadha ,from the AAP to the BJP.

* A poor tribal in Keunjhar district of Odisha being compelled to carry the corpse of his dead sister to a bank in order to prove her death, just so that the meagre balance in her account could be transferred to him as the heir. The KYC converted from Know Your Customer to Know Your Corpse.

* The dismissal of cases of hate speech against leaders of a political party by a court on the grounds that their utterances did not amount to expressing hate or inciting violence. One of these speeches included the now infamous exhortation: Desh ke Gaddaron ko, goli maro salon ko. The other was a video of a Chief Minister pointing a rifle at a target with a picture of a Muslim man.

The incidents noted above differ in context, content, import and location, but they all contain one common element: the complete collapse of what makes a developed country- of governance, common law, societal values, empathy, the rule of law, trust in the government or its institutions, the idea of equity and even-handed justice. Taken together, they point to the breakdown of something cumulatively more precious- democracy itself. They vindicate the far-sighted and cautionary words of Dr. Ambedkar: that democracy in India was only a thin layer of top soil which could be blown away easily and should not be taken for granted.

A Devil's wind is blowing through the country these days, removing Ambedkar's top soil and exposing the outcrop of powerlust, greed, religious bigotry, casteism, violence that have always under-pinned our society. We had expected that progressive governments, democratically elected, would over time erode and disintegrate these negative features of our civilisational landscape, but the opposite has happened. Successive governments, more so the one we have had for the last twelve years, have only reinforced these flaws and fault lines; they have been made the driving force behind national (even international) policies, they are being embedded in laws and educational curriculum, they have become unapologetic instruments of state policy, they are the agenda on which elections are now being fought.                                                                                                    The defection of Raghav Chadha only confirms this terminal decline because it shows that a liberal upbringing and London education is no shield against the unscrupulousness of India's politics, and it  vindicates the mounting distrust of politicians in general. The executive has even managed to brutalise our society to a point where the top 10% care only for their own comforts and privileges, leaving the other 90% to survive as best as they can. We are among the most inequitable countries in the world, and proud of it. Democracy is the last thing which can emerge from this witch's cauldron.

We had naively expected that when the executive went on a rampage our judiciary at least would reign it in and preserve the rule of law. That hope has been belied and now lies trampled in the dust, as some of the above episodes demonstrate. We have today plumbed depths lower even than the ADM Jabalpur moment of Emergency days. Then at least there was a constitutionally legitimate state of Emergency in place, today we do not have even that fig leaf to cover the government's naked pursuit of absolute power. Then there was one ADM Jabalpur judgment, today we are being shredded by a thousand judicial cuts every day, whether it be on denying bail, allowing elections to be stolen from under magisterial noses, redefining hate to suit a particular ideology, spurning any notion of accountability, throwing overboard any restatement of judicial values.

A Constitution alone cannot make a democracy, or ensure that a democracy survives. For that to happen the top soil has to be tended carefully, its nutrients lovingly added and preserved, the negative infestations and weeds kept away; the gardeners have to be men of wisdom and empathy, people who love what they are doing, not mercenaries seeking the maximum payouts. Sadly, it is the mercenaries and carpet- baggers who own our patch of land today. What remains of the top soil will be blown away soon, leaving a rocky outcrop, a civilisational desert of no value to anyone but these rapacious seekers of power and their hirelings. They will rule over a wasteland, but then, as Satan mused: "It is better to reign in Hell than to serve in Heaven." 

THE " BATTLE OF CIVILISATIONS" IS ONE BETWEEN ALGEBRA AND HAMBURGERS

 Civilisations are created by poets, writers, painters, architects, but are destroyed by politicians and their armies. We would do well to remember this truth at a time when an existential civilisational war is taking place almost on our borders, in West Asia. Make no mistake, the illegal assaults on Gaza, Lebanon, Syria and Iran are not just about Greater Israel or oil or uranium enrichment: these are just the cover for a new Crusades against the non-Christian, non- Caucasian world, a new religio-colonial imperialism by the USA and Israel, given wink-wink support by most of Europe. Large numbers of Christians in these countries appear to have embraced the spirit of Zionism too.

The sheer temerity and audacity of this is hard to grasp. Here we have two countries, one barely 75 years in existence and the other whose cultural pillars are hamburgers and Kentucky fried chicken, presuming to destroy genuine civilisations thousands of years old. As the Iranian Foreign Minister reminded Trump: the Persians were inscribing the laws of human rights on the Cyrus pillar when the Europeans and Americans were still living in caves. The blood thirsty Zionists of today are probably not even aware that it was a Persian mathematician who invented Algebra in the 9the century AD, that the Jews exist today because Persian kings like Xerexes ( 6th century BC) and Cyrus (5th century BC) had ordered that the Jews should be allowed to live in peace in their kingdoms and should not be harmed in any way. That today's Jews should now to seek to slaughter the descendents of these Persians says all that is needed to be said about true civilisations and barbarians.

The evidence for this attempted civilisational supremacy is mounting by the day. This policy was officially declared by that Cuban immigrant who, like a snake which has lost its bearings, tries to devour its own tail; I speak of Marco Rubio, the US Secretary of State. At the Munich Security Conference in February this year  he unashamedly laid out Trump's new Maga Carta, to the accompaniment of a standing ovation by other European leaders. He expressed nostalgia for the past, when Europe's "missionaries, pilgrims, soldiers, explorers poured out from its shores to settle new continents". He called for "a new age of western dominance", to reverse the decline of the West since 1945, in effect proclaiming the launch of a new era of neo-colonialism. USA, he stated, is "fixing" the problem, and in doing so will have no hesitation in rejecting the core elements of the existing international order.

This has been amply demonstrated by the fact that the USA has between 750-800 military bases in 80 countries to maintain its hegemony; by the bombing of 41 countries  in the last 80 years, and all but one of them (Serbia) are in either Asia or Africa. One expert estimates that these assaults, and the sanctions that have accompanied them, have killed at least 32 million people. Gaza, Lebanon and Iran are only the latest expressions of this attempted neo-colonialism. Trump has openly boasted that he has taken the Venezuelan oil, that he wants Iran's oil reserves and a share in the toll revenues from Hormuz. He has shown utter racial contempt for one of the oldest civilisations in the world by killing its leaders, calling them bastards who belong to the stone age. The Israeli Defence Minster has described Palestinians as "worse than animals" and called for their extermination.

The West Asia genocide by Israel and the USA has been fully, though more quietly,  supported by Western Europe and the G7, with the exception of a couple of countries like Spain and Ireland. Their continued trade with Israel  hovers at about US$ 50 billion annually, they have sanctioned Iran and Venezuela but will not dream of sanctioning Israel, they continue to arm the rogue terrorist state to the teeth, they have formed a coalition of 12 European states to open the Straits of Hormuz but will not do so to protect either Gaza or South Lebanon. Even worse, they will not allow their own citizens to protest against Israel: UK has arrested thousands of protesters and France has just introduced the YADAN law that criminalises any anti-Israel public protest with a five year jail term! The West's war of civilisations is being waged in full earnest.

This is the context in which we should view Iran's tenacious defence of its sovereignty and its peoples. Iran is fighting to DECOLONISE the Global South. It has effectively reversed and turned on its head the western narrative of the southern nations being the "barbarians" and "terrorists": the emerging global perception is that Israel and the USA are the biggest terrorist nations, that it is they who constitute the biggest threat to peace and the world order, that its leaders are declared war criminals. The barbarians have lost this war but by definition are too stupid to admit it.

POLYTICKS, DEMOCKRAZY AND MUMBOJUMBO---BABUS, MANTRIS & NETAS (UNMAKING) OUR NATION.

 

This book of mine, containing political satire and lampooning our social peccadillos and pretences, was first published by PIPPA RAN BOOKS AND MEDIA in 2020. It has now been republished by AUTHOR'S UPFRONT/ PARANJOY THAKURTA this year. I am reposting this brief introduction to it on my blog for the benefit (or mortification, as the case may be!) of those readers who have discovered me after 2020. Six years is almost a generational space nowadays in this fast-paced world, where you have to register your presence on social media everyday lest you are consigned to internet oblivion.

The sixty odd pieces in this book cover subjects as varied as high society dinners, judicial oddities, the arcane mumbo jumbo of economics, politicians and their misdeeds, social peccadillos, the absurdities of governmental policies, the inanities of our media and TV channels, and a lot more. But rarely is there a frontal assault: the battle is waged with humour, irony and satire; the intent is to both inform and amuse!

                                

The book has a fabulous Preface by the evergreen Shashi Tharoor, and I cannot blow my own trumpet better than by quoting from it:

"Avay Shukla is no ordinary blogger. He is a former senior bureaucrat... now retired but armed with a formidable (nearly) four decades of experience administering the complexities of Indian governance. He was clearly no ordinary bureaucrat either, for he wields an incisive pen, a highly effective vocabulary- and a style so original, so witty and often so devastating that his file notations must have been classics in their own right!"

"Every subject is tackled with a command of both subject and language that make his conclusions both impossible to resist....Some of his writing is satirical, but much of it is infused with a burning passion for issues that matter in India, tinged perhaps with the tinge of disillusionment of one who has seen it all and found it wanting."

"The talent for brevity makes him the ideal blogger-somebody who has something to say, and does so readably and pithily....I hope (Avay Shukla's) work finds the wide and discerning readership it deserves, well beyond the transience of its original medium in cyberspace."

The book has merited a number of reviews, and I am happy to share  one of them, by Jawhar Sircar, IAS (Retd) and ex-MP of the Trinamool Congress. Jawhar is a batchmate and even otherwise a kindred soul! Here are excerpts from the review, published in the Statesman Literary Review:

Few bureaucrats are endowed with a great sense of humour, or else they would not be bureaucrats in the first place. And, a profession that claims to be the world’s second oldest surely lacks the excitement of the first. There are, however, certain similarities and Avay Shukla’s PolyTicks, DeMockrazy & Mumbo Jumbo lifts the hemline to reveal saucy bits, but leaves it to the reader to fantasise. We benefit from his insider’s ring-side views about “babus, mantris and netas (un) making our nation”. His wit has surely not deserted him even after cohabiting for thirty five long years with dull, dusty and musty files. Behind his satire and flippant delivery, however, he displays his utter seriousness with facts and figures, as is expected from a senior administrator.

Shukla’s blog, View From (Greater) Kailash, is immensely popular among his former colleagues and a large band of other readers. They love his flippantly serious dissection of earth-shaking problems and eagerly wait for their weekly fix. One is reminded of RK Laxman’s apparently innocent but sarcasm-loaded gaze as he spoke for the common man whose one-liners were more devastating than gnashing one’s teeth or tearing precious hair. Most of his 58 articles tackle one problem at a time and he keeps smiling even as he rips through its abdomen for the world to see. .....

Let us sample his fare. Discussing the growing trust deficit, his opening comments are: “Many decades ago when I was growing up in a simpler era when crooked people were called cheats not “ethically challenged”; when a “face lift” was generally given to a building, not to a visage ravaged by time; when “silicone valley” was understood to refer to Pamela Anderson’s cleavage not to a techie wonderland, it was easy to have trust in people or things. The only objects that were universally not trusted were politicians, bureaucrats and shop-keepers, something, by the way, which holds good today.” He plunges thereafter into the serious business of analysing some notable professions to show how “the trust factor gets more invidious” with time. “Beauty”, he sighs, “does (not) lie in the eye of the beholder, it lies in the scalpel of the plastic surgeon.”.........

Delhi’s forever upwardly mobile society and its inescapable humbug are obviously targets of his acid tongue. He tries to figure out why nobody but a nobody ever arrives in time. “To do so ensures you will not be invited again (because) such aberrant behaviour reveals........that you are unemployed or (God forbid) retired, that you have no other place to visit that evening , that you are trying to save on your AC charges in your home, that you are unimportant flotsam”. Then, after listing a long series of mandatory fake behaviour that one has to suffer and keep grinning, Avay Shukla explains that “exiting a South Delhi dinner is also an art which needs a lot of practice and panache”. He suggests a good exit line like “Sorry, I must rush — Mr LK Advani is waiting for me”. He has no qualms about this fast one, as “the poor guy has been waiting for years now for anyone to call on him”.

His remarkable wit notwithstanding, Shukla is deadly serious when examining his issues — that range from police excesses, bureaucratic idiosyncrasies, citizenship disasters to smart-phones, smart cities and India’s rapidly-plunging GDP and international ratings. He lays bare hard, internationally-acknowledged data for his readers to mull over. Like “1% of Indians own 55% of its wealth” or how “10% have collared 74%” of the country’s resources. But even these need updating, as in two quick years, they have become worse and more skewed. Berating the regime-encouraged or caste-inspired agitations and violence against certain films, launched mainly by uninformed goons, he laments that “all film production will cease”. And he rues: “Sunny Leone will regrettably go back to Canada, Amitabh Bachchan will become Baba Ramdev’s brand ambassador and Salman Khan will resume shooting black bucks and chinkaras which is a far safer occupation in India than shooting films.”

Lampooning Rahul Gandhi’s sudden hugging of the Prime Minister, Shukla comments “I don’t think he was expecting any reciprocal cleaving to the bosom by the PM. It is well known that Mr Modi never, but never, hugs an Indian: his expansive embraces are reserved for foreign dignitaries, preferably on foreign soil.”  Shukla take on the IAS is quite true, mercilessly so, and he aptly compares their service years with Russian dogs, who are “well fed but not allowed to bark”. “When the muzzle comes off after 35 years”, he notes that “they tend to be a rather chatty lot”. 

In this apparently flippant vein, he tosses various persons, societal ailments and governmental goofing around. To Avay Shukla, there are no holy cows that can’t be tickled, despite unpleasant consequences that have befallen several outspoken critics who went too far. He is, however, quite even-handed with all political parties and if ever people are curious how bureaucrats put up with the largely-obnoxious political class, the answer is that they “faked it” most of the time. Mercifully, Shukla does not pontificate or compare his bravado with the antics of the ‘lowly specimens’ who populate his service since he left it. He laughs at himself all the time and that, by itself, proves that he has achieved something that is very difficult for most of his colleagues. That is: to remain plainly human and simply normal.

The paperback version of the book is available on Amazon at the following link: https://www.amazon.in/dp/8199353686

or simply type the name of the book. Kindle version should be available soon.

SHOULD I PROTECT MY PERSONALITY OR INSURE MY LEGS ?

 I've been feeling a bit low these last few months, enveloped in a feeling of missing out on something, what the acronym generation would term FOMO- Feeling Of Missing Out, but is actually more of FOBLO- a Feeling Of Being Left Out. Somewhat like Sanju Samson being left out of the team for the first few matches of the T20 World Cup. Let me explain.

The author and blogger Manu Joseph is someone I admire; he has an innovative mind, an imagination that soars like a hypersonic missile, and he thinks out of the box. In a recent blog he explained how hard it now is for the "uber wealthy" to maintain their distinct social status above the humbler "very wealthy". Till now this was done by buying status symbols like designer and bespoke cars, flats in Dubai, annual trips to Biarritz, bouncers in black Tee shirts, luxury yachts and arm candy from Italy. Economists call these Veblen goods, where the higher the price the higher is the demand for them. They confer status. Not any more. With  ordinary millionaires now mushrooming like bhakts at a Modi rally in Houston, the uber rich billionaires have now lost their exclusivity or uniqueness. Anyone from Karol Bagh who does not pay his GST (which includes everyone in KB) can now buy what was once the exclusive preserve of the billionaires. Let me pursue Manu Joseph's idea.

 The bar for the uber rich is getting higher with every turn of the cronyism cycle. Therefore, to maintain their social distance and snobbery, they are resorting to outlandish strategems, indulging in extreme ventures. Like paying 55 million dollars for a trip to space on SpaceX or Virgin Atlantic, or 5 million dollars for diving down to the Titanic in a submersible, or buying a plot of land on the dark side of the Moon (which Trump will probably acquire once he has had his Joline moment with Cuba.) So strong is the pressure to be "different" that it does not seem to matter that they may not survive these ventures!

But-and here's the interesting part- the uber wealthy celebrities in Hollywood and other red carpet bastions of showbiz want no part of risking life and limb to be different. In fact, they go to the other extreme- they insure their limbs instead, for mind boggling sums! Julia Roberts's smile is insured for US$ 30 million, Ronaldo and Beckham have insured their legs for 117 and 70 million respectively, Taylor Swift for 40 million (quite under priced, in my view). But this pales into spindly insignificance in front of Mariah Carey's legs which command $ 1 billion. Really, are those legs or ATMs? Bringing up the rear, however, is this piece de resistance: Kim Kardashian's buttocks are insured for 21 million, but even this is not within touching distance of  Jennifer Lopez's derriere which is insured for 300 million. Gives an entirely new flavour to that immortal Americanism: "Kiss my a**e !"

In India, however, our crorepati showbiz celebrities in Bollywood are more pragmatic and parsimonious. They have started acquiring their exclusive status by a less expensive method- by claiming "personality rights" which no one else can usurp. All it requires is a ten rupee stamp paper and an unemployed lawyer. No wonder these days there is a virtual flood of these petitions in courts. Personality Rights (PR) protects an individual's public persona and identity- voice, image, likeness, mannerisms- from unauthorised commercial exploitation. This list of protectees now threatens to exceed the protectees under the Z category of the Home Ministry, and includes Abhishek Bachchan, Aishwarya Rai, Anil Kapoor, Karan Johar, Shahrukh Khan and Daler Mehndi. So now you can't sing like Asha Bhonsle, build biceps like Salman Khan, smirk like Karan Johar, bat your eyelids like Aishwarya Rai or say KHAMOSH like Shatrughan Sinha (I'm not joking- a court has just ordered that he has the rights over that expression). Very soon, you'll not be able to hug like Mr. Modi or do a padyatra like Rahul Gandhi, cough like Kejriwal, employ MS Dhoni's "helicopter shot", deliver sermons like Mr. Jaishankar or expose your six-packs like the King Khan while spreading your arms in the Titanic pose. The message going out is simple and clear- if you've not had your PR protected by a court, you don't count.

It goes without saying that our courts are going overboard on this matter, which is a tussle between the right to privacy and the freedom of expression. The point is: if Salman Khan flexes his pectorals in a Pan masala ad, or Shilpa Shetty swings her derriere down a ramp, or KR Rehman croons in an auditorium - all this is done in public, is in the public domain. They voluntarily gave up their right to privacy to earn a few millions, so how can emulating them, talking about it or making memes or sarcastic comments about them constitute a violation of their PR? Next we'll have Keshto Mukherjee seeking PR protection for acting drunk in public, or Mr. Nitish Kumar claiming a patent for political defection, or Kangana Ranaut claiming that no one is allowed to speak English in that delightful  Pahari- Convent school accent!

But I'm not waiting for the courts to get their act together: I've decided to apply for protection of my own personality rights so that my editors and publishers treat me with some respect. Problem is, my wife Neerja says I have no personality except that of a proboscis monkey, these monkeys are already in zoos (maybe a few in some forests too), and therefore these looks belong to the Great Apes, not homo sapiens, and so they cannot be protected. But I disagree. From certain angles, and in subdued lighting, I have an uncanny resemblance to Mr. Bean, and can therefore seek protection as a Mr. Has- Been. Cheaper than insuring my legs or patootie, what? 

Did I hear someone titter? KHAMOSH !

BOOK REVIEW. JUDGING THE JUDGES.

              

                                          

                   [Published by Paranjoy Guha Thakurta. 2025]

  Before we get into this thought provoking book two things need to be said about it. One, it reaffirms that courageous journalism and writing still breathes in India, notwithstanding the utter capitulation of most of the shameful media to power and commerce. Second, the book raises troubling questions about our higher judiciary, based not on allegations and charges, but on facts available in the public domain and easily verifiable. The authors lay out the carcass of our judicial system, wounds and all, and leave it to the reader to make up his or her mind.

The central character is Justice Arun Mishra:  appointed to the Supreme Court in July 2014 by the Narendra Modi government, even though the previous UPA government had twice rejected his case. On his retirement from the SC in  September 2020, he was appointed as Chairman of the NHRC (National Human Rights Commission) in June 2021, where he did not distinguish himself : for the first time ever, NHRC was downgraded by GANHRI (Global Alliance of National Human Rights Commissions) from category A to B for its failure to investigate human rights violations and its police- led approach. He retired from the NHRC in January 2025 and was, unsurprisingly and ironically, appointed  as Ombudsman and Ethics Officer of the BCCI (Board of Control for Cricket in India).                                                                                                            In this book fourteen of his most controversial judgments are subjected to a forensic analysis the media, or any legal scholar, have never had the courage to do. And in each one any reasonable person would find him wanting, feeling that he was prone to riding rough-shod over High Court judgments, fashioning previous judgments and precedences to suit his interpretations of the law, displaying complete lack of empathy for human rights , failing to acknowledge conflict of interest in some cases and refusing to recuse himself from them, intriguingly ruling in favour of the government, the rich and the powerful even though there was much evidence to support a contrary decision. 

 The authors rarely, if ever, give their opinions on these cases ( in deference, probably, to the prevailing climate of self-censorship, laws of contempt and subdued criticism); they meticulously lay out the facts, invariably supported by citations and references, and leave it to the astute reader to draw his own inferences and conclusions. Most conclusions will do no credit to Justice Mishra. It is not possible to discuss each of these cases in a book review, but a few common threads that run through them become self-evident, enough to justify the title of this book.

Justice Mishra's propensity to favour the government's/prosecution version in just about every case is the first thing one notices, whether in the Elgar Parishad case where a scholar-activist like Gautam Navlakha was allowed to be hauled out of the jurisdiction of the Delhi High Court by the NIA (National Investigation Agency) for no reason and in the face of Delhi High Court orders, just so that he could not be granted bail for another couple of years; or in the case of Sanjiv Bhatt, an IPS officer of the Gujarat cadre who fell foul of the powers by revealing details of a meeting taken by Mr. Modi (the then CM of Gujarat) during the riots of 2002, and for alleging that he was pressurised by Modi and Shah to "withdraw a report he had prepared on the murder of former Gujarat Home Minister Haren Pandya." Bhatt's writ petition in the SC for constitution of an SIT to probe anew the Gujarat riots  was heard by Justice Mishra who dismissed it, placing implicit faith in the version of the government, accusing Bhatt of misleading the court, of suppressio veri and suggestio falsi, and of not coming to the court "with clean hands." This judgment effectively sealed Bhatt's fate, the authors say: he was subsequently convicted on another, decades old case and is now serving life in prison (appeal is pending in the Gujarat High Court, for whatever it is worth).

This book makes the reader wonder whether Justice Mishra was ever interested in the search for either truth or justice. In Judge Loya's case he inexplicably refused to allow a court monitored probe into the mysterious death of one of his own. (Loya was trying a case in which Amit Shah, the Home Minister, was an accused in a murder/false encounter). In the Sahara-Birla bribery case, he refused to allow in evidence a handwritten note in which payment of bribes were recorded (including allegedly to Mr. Modi, the then CM of Gujarat). The rejection was based on a technical definition of what constitutes a "diary"! Justice Mishra held that since the so-called payments were recorded in loose sheets of paper and did not have a spiral or permanent binding, they could not be considered as admissible in evidence! The case, naturally, fell apart in the absence of this crucial piece of evidence.

Hearing the constitutional challenge to the Forest Rights Act (FRA) which sought to confer land rights on traditional forest dwellers, Arun Mishra, instead of addressing the constitutional issues involved, peremptorily ordered the eviction of millions of tribals at the second hearing itself, without ascertaining whether their claims had been adjudicated according to the law or not. It was only when the BJP govt. in Delhi (which had done nothing to defend its own Act), fearful of an electoral backlash, requested the court to reconsider that Justice Mishra stayed his own order in 2020. The case remains in limbo till this day.

Brandishing his authority like a cudgel, the Hon' Judge, taking suo moto notice of two tweets by Prashant Bhushan, noted activist and SC lawyer, about the  role of four past Chief Justices in the dismantling of democracy, convicted him of contempt of court. This, in spite of advice to the contrary by the Attorney General of India and a legion of legal luminaries and civil society members. This judgment itself has done much to tarnish the image of the SC as a protector of free speech.

The book meticulously documents how, in the 18 months prior to his retirement Justice Mishra delivered a series of judgments (eight, to be precise) in favour of the Adani group and Reliance Industries, by which they benefitted  by thousands of crores of rupees and effectively reducing the telecom sector to a duopoly. Once again, the rub lies in the manner of interpretation of laws, facts and precedents. Without going into the intricacies of the judgments (the reader can peruse them himself and draw his own conclusions), the sheer coincidence of timing and disposal is intriguing. As Ian Fleming famously said: "Once is happenstance, twice is coincidence, but three times is enemy action!"

The other cases/ judgments analysed in this book only reinforce the misgivings about Justice Mishra's credentials as an impartial purveyor of justice. Sadly, one cannot discuss them all in this review. Suffice it say, however, that by the end of this book, one cannot but struggle with four troubling questions. One, are we over-hyping the bit about "independence of the judiciary", seeing that the virtual immunity proffered to them is not serving its stated purpose? Two, it is being demonstrated daily that judicial independence without a corresponding accountability can only lead to judicial tyranny. Therefore, should there be more focus on the other doctrine-"accountability of the judiciary"? Third, is the country being let down by the manner in which we appoint and promote our judges? Four, should reemployment of retired judges not be banned entirely, as it seriously compromises their loyalties? Inconvenient questions, but ones which will have to be addressed sooner rather than later. If the fourteen judgments in this book  compel the reader to reflect on this, it would have done its job.

WARS, ECOCIDE AND THE DOOMSDAY CLOCK.

 It's a disturbing sign of the times that the global levers of power today are controlled by genocidal murderers, sex offenders, megalomaniacs, war criminals and rapacious billionaires who should all be in jail. Collectively, these psychopaths are driving the human race ever closer to the seventh mass extermination, this time of homo sapiens- which is probably a good thing from a planetary perspective, for we do not deserve this wonderful orb. Any one of three forces- Artificial Intelligence (AI), Climate Change, War- has the capacity to exterminate us, but it gets even worse: the last three years has demonstrated that all these three forces are now coming TOGETHER to do the job under the guidance of the sociopaths mentioned above.

As we edge ever closer to a war-driven holocaust in Ukraine and the Middle-east, this three-way synergy is becoming more pronounced and evident. AI is being used to assassinate leaders, military chiefs and scientists, to communicate and surveil, to guide missiles and bombs, to make war itself autonomous. The fate of "enemies" is now being decided by algorithms, not rational persons. This harnessing of A.I. for war has been exposed in the tussle between Anthropic and the Pentagon, when the latter refused to accept the guard-rails which Anthropic had inserted into its algorithms to prevent their misuse. Anthropic was black-listed for taking an ethical stand, but Open AI and others quickly filled the void. AI is making even conventional/ non-nuclear wars more lethal and opportunistic/acceptable for those nations which possess the technology.

This AI is being being used by robber baron warlords, criminal syndicates masquerading as elected governments, to wage illegal wars,  driving us ever closer to climate Armageddon by destroying the natural environment, increasing the emission of GHGs (Green House Gases), and polluting the soils and waters of a dozen nations. Sadly, however, no one is talking about the environmental catastrophe unfolding in larger concentric circles, all eyeballs are fixated on missiles, drones, aircraft carriers and the straits of Hormuz.

A study has revealed that three years of the Russia-Ukraine war has released an additional 350 million tons of pollutants/ GHG/ CO2 into the atmosphere, 1% of annual global emissions, through bombings, explosions and fires. The destruction of the Kakhovka dam in Kherson region of Ukraine by Russia in 2023 flooded 600+ sq.kms of the downstream area, causing a humanitarian and ecological disaster on an unparalleled scale: more than 83000 tons of silt contaminated with heavy metals (lead, cadmium, nickel) has been deposited downstream, making the soil and water there toxic and poisoned for decades.

The entire 365 sq.kms of the Gaza strip has been carpet bombed by Israel to an extent that there is now no farmland or green area remaining there. Thousands of unexploded ordinance are buried in its soil and cities.  80% of all buildings in Gaza have been destroyed, and according to an estimate by the UN this has created 63 million tons of rubble, which will take 15 years to remove if 200 truck loads are removed every day! The cost will be more than a billion US dollars. Effectively, the entire 365 sq. kms has been degraded into a wasteland.

The environmental impact of the on-going US/ Israel war on Iran will be much worse, both for the land and the sea, especially now that oil facilities are fair game for all parties. Israel initiated this new phase of environmental warfare by bombing Teheran's oil storage tanks in the second week of March : the resultant massive plumes of black smoke which persisted for days was bad enough. Worse was the rain that fell, "black rain" containing all the released pollutants which have now leached into the soil, making it toxic and barren for decades, and contaminating the ground water. Israel's attack on Iran's Pars gas field on the 18th March is the beginning of an ecocide in the whole region: it processes 600 million cu.mtrs. of natural gas every day. With such a humongous volume being set on fire, the toxic fumes will envelop not only Iran but the entire Gulf region, and could travel even as far as Pakistan and India. Iran's inevitable retaliation by bombing the oil fields of Israel and the Gulf countries will exponentially multiply this pollution. One shudders to even imagine how much pollutants all this will add to the atmosphere.

Tens of millions of liters/barrels of oil are contained in the ships, both military and civilian. riding on the Persian Gulf, all in harm's way of the war. More than 13 million barrels of oil and 500,000 tons of gas are presently locked up in the straits of Hormuz alone in 300 ships. If even half a dozen of them are sunk, the waters of the Gulf shall be contaminated for decades, all marine life destroyed. Have we conveniently forgotten what happened during the Iraq war, when Saddam Hussein spilled millions of liters of oil in the sea? That marine area has yet to recover, even after 26 years.

A recent study quoted in THE GUARDIAN  reveals that 5 million tons of CO2e has been emitted in the first 14 days of the current war, from destroyed buildings (2.4 million tons), fuel for military vehicles ( 529000 tons), bombing of oil facilities ( 1.88 million tons), destroyed military hardware ( 172000 tons), munitions (55000 tons). This is equivalent to the annual carbon budget of the 84 lowest carbon emitting countries in the world. 

The Netanyahus, Putins and Trumps of the world are not only waging illegal wars and trashing humanitarian covenants, they are committing ecocide on a horrendous scale. This is another reminder that fossil-fuelled geopolitics is incompatible with a liveable planet. The Doomsday Clock in Chicago University, which is so set up that midnight signifies total Apocalypse, is getting ever closer to that point in time. It was at 17 minutes to midnight in 1991, today it is at 85 seconds to midnight. The world is running out of time fast, and that is not  just a metaphor.

LOW ON OIL, BUT WE HAVE PLENTY OF GAS !

•  I can't be sure, but I'm fairly positive that the most Googled word this fortnight was "gas", thanks to the Gulf conflict and the shortages of said element in India. Now, one would have expected that, given that our rulers- politicians, bureaucrats, judges- are so full of gas, there would never be a shortage of it here, but apparently there was, notwithstanding the denials by Epstein's buddy. This has led to a veritable  explosion of memes and wisecracks on social media on the subject, sparing not even our revered Prime Minister's enviable grasp of science. And when one speaks of gas in India, can the malodorous subject of flatulence be left unaddressed?
•                              
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• So, this week I've decided to develop further the spark of scientific genius ignited by our PM and explore more deeply the subject of gas, or to be precise, its by-product--flatulence. And I'm amazed at how well researched this subject is! Did you know, for example, that research has established that farting is a natural and healthy process, a voiding of the by-products of digestion, just as the gas flares in a petroleum refinery ? That one should fart at least 32 times a day? Less, and your gut microbes are not functioning at optimum levels; more, and your digestive system is being asked to process more than it can handle. Overload, much to the discomfort of those sitting next to you, as Trump's advisors frequently discover.
•     But here's the interesting thought: can you even imagine the volume of gas Indians produce? 1400 millions expelling gas 32 times a day! Why, if we could only tap it, we could forget about the straits of Hormuz or even the need for the strategic reserve Mani Shankar Aiyer is critical of! We could become atmanirbhar on a colossal scale. All we have to do now is to make use of Mr. Modi's untapped scientific potential, and leave the rest to Nutty Aayog. In fact, I believe the government is already moving in this direction- according to Whats App university it has banned the production/sale of digestive tablets and syrups in order to increase the production of HPG (Human Produced Gas). Anyone who refuses to produce HPG can now be arrested under the Essential Commodities Act. Way to go, Mr. Puri, I always had a , well, gut feeling that you could do it when it came to the crunch, or gripe! 
•    Wait, there's more. Studies by John Hopkins University indicate two important benefits of flatulence. One, passing gas frequently is good for your circulatory system as it releases pressure on it. Two, HPG contains hydrogen sulphide, produced by the action of the gut bacteria. This gas plays a vital role in maintaining normal blood pressure; it causes the arteries to dilate, letting blood circulate more freely, reducing pressure on the arteries and providing protection against hyper-tension, strokes, heart attacks and kidney diseases. Now I realise why some of the healthiest people I know are ones who  pass gas with the frequency of an AK47, and just as loudly!
•    Ever wondered why our politicians enjoy such longevity- they just keep on going on and on, rivalling the life spans of tortoises? Well, the answer to that too lies in gas- specifically in the "padyatras" they regularly perform ( the word "pad" has a distinctly gaseous meaning in Hindi, but we'll stick to its literal English translation- a "walking tour"). These can be categorised as "Fart Walks". According to an article by Kirtika Katira in the WION dated July6, 2024, Fart Walks is the latest fitness trend which has taken TikTok by storm. Essentially a post prandial/dinner walk of about 30 minutes, it is the panacea for bloating, indigestion, gas, heartburn, diabetes and blood pressure. It does so by helping food motility- the process of moving food from the stomach to the intestines- where it is quickly digested and absorbed. The accelerated (by walking) process releases a lot of gas which has to be expelled. As the name suggests, Fart Walks are not meant for conversation but for some serious farting. Now you know why our "pad yatra" addicted politicians live so long. This may also explain Rahul Gandhi's sudden bulging biceps!                                                                               So the next time you take an after dinner stroll, dear reader, and pass an old gentleman sputtering along, emitting subdued explosive sounds like the misfiring piston of an old scooter, don't be alarmed. Doff your cap politely to him and walk on with your nostrils shut. That old geezer might be me! 

SCRUBBING THE MIRROR DOESN'T HELP.

Posted: 15.03.2026.

(This piece was published in THE TRIBUNE, Chandigarh, on 15.03.2026, with some minor editing)

The smell of censorship hangs heavily over Delhi these days, enveloping two books, one for perhaps containing official secrets, the other for calling a spade a spade. It's a theater of the absurd, and brings to mind that well-worn World War II anecdote: a man, who publicly called Churchill a fool, was promptly arrested. Opposition MPs in Parliament protested that England was becoming a police state where free speech was being curbed. Churchill clarified that the man was being proceeded against, not because he had called the Prime Minister a fool, but for revealing a state secret! Unfortunately, this sense of humour is missing in our institutions, having been replaced long ago by a sense of righteousness and entitlement.

We will probably never know what official secrets General Naravane's book contains that prompted this government to disallow its publication or even a discussion in Parliament. But it's the furore over the other book, a Class VIII text book on Social Sciences published by NCERT, that is more disturbing and warrants a deeper reflection. Does Churchill's quip about revealing a state secret apply to it?

I for one was shocked at the sheer ferocity of the Supreme Court's reaction when some lawyers brought the book to its notice. The CJI  dubbed it "a calculated move to undermine and overawe the judiciary", to "demean the dignity of the judiciary", a " deep rooted conspiracy". He called for a "deeper probe", adding for good measure that no one would be spared and that "heads must roll.". He refused to accept the Center's or the NCERT apologies. The three academics who wrote the chapter have been blacklisted and debarred from any future engagement by any govt. institution or university.The book was banned instantly and a Sidney Sheldon type investigation launched to trace all of the 38 copies of the book sold so far- I believe about 20 of them have been retrieved, the remaining continue to pose a grave threat to our democracy, like a hidden time bomb.

From material in the public domain, one has been able to glean that this was a new book on Social Sciences for Class VIII, it contained a chapter entitled "The Role of the Judiciary in our Society." The offending part, it is reported, was a sub-chapter called "Corruption in the Judiciary." It attributes delays in the dispensation of justice to factors such as inadequate number of judges, complex legal procedures, poor infrastructure and corruption. It is this latter part which appears to have invited the Court's ire, even though 9 out of 10 Indians would agree with these conclusions.

Moreover, the book is certainly not targeting the judiciary, as the Court appears to believe. It also criticizes other organs of the state. As THE HINDU writes in an editorial: the problem with the SC ban "is not that the textbook selectively targets the judiciary, it is that the judiciary selectively targets certain portions."

Let's not gloss over the reality- corruption has been part of our culture from time immemorial, regularly reinforced by every element of our establishment. It would be a fantasy to expect the judiciary to be an outlier on, or an exception to, this. Data presented in Parliament in February shows that between 2016 and 2025, 8600 complaints were filed against sitting judges. In 2011 Justice Soumitra Sen of the Calcutta High Court was impeached on corruption charges: he resigned before he could be impeached, but he was never prosecuted. In 2018 Justice RK Mittal, a Tribunal judge, was sacked in a corruption case. The case of Justice Yashwant Verma, in whose official house crores of unexplained cash were allegedly found just last year is nowhere near resolution and he continues in service. More instances can be found in the book A CONTROVERSIAL JUDGE (2025) by Paranjoy Guha Thakurta and Ayaskant Das. India ranks 79th out of 143 countries in the Rule of Law Index (2024), that is, we are in the bottom half. Surely, the factors listed in the NCERT book may have something to do with this?

  An issue which strikes at the very roots of judicial probity should be confronted head-on if we wish to resolve it, and not brushed under the carpet. As Prashant Bhushan says: "Judiciary is not above scrutiny and is accountable to the people..... Reference to judicial corruption and delays in the NCERT curriculum is in keeping with the constitutional values of transparency and accountability." In fact, advocate and eminent legal scholar Gautam Bhatia has questioned whether Article 19 of the Constitution even empowers the Supreme Court to ban a book. It is unfortunate that the Court has decided to take this route; the CJI's assurance that this "is not meant to stifle any criticism" sadly does not inspire much confidence. There has already been much redacting and sanitisation of NCERT textbooks by this government and we could do without more. Education should prepare our youth for entering this harsh and imperfect world, not gloss over its defects under a coat of judicial enamel paint. A celebrated poet had already said this, centuries ago:

" Umra bhar Ghalib yehi bhool karta raha

Dhool chehre pe thi, aina saaf karta raha."

[Your entire life Ghalib you repeated this error

The dust was on your face but you kept wiping the mirror.]

INDIAN RAILWAYS -- RUNNING LATE FOR 2047 ?

 I've said it before and I'll say it again for the doubtful benefit of this hearing impaired government- putting old wine in new bottles doesn't change the wine for the better. A prime example of this is the Indian Railways, their slew of hyped up new trains- Vande Bharat, Tejas, Namo Bharat, etc.- and the claim that it has transformed the way Indians travel. It hasn't, it's just made it more expensive.

Last month I had to go to my hometown, Kanpur, to revitalise my withering roots and decided to travel by the Delhi-Varanasi Vande Bharat, touted as the last word in luxury, speed and punctuality (my first time on a VB). It was none of these. The fallacy started unravelling at Platform 16 of the New Delhi Station itself, where I arrived at 2.30 PM (departure time was 3.00 PM). The train arrived two hours late and left two and a half hours late-at 5.20 PM. So much for punctuality. Worse, there was no sharing of information with the hundreds of waiting passengers- merely a bored announcement every now and then that the train "is delayed by 15 minutes." (It was always 15 minutes, not a minute less or a minute more).This announcement of delays by instalments (on the airlines pattern) is inexplicable in this age of real time information when a train's actual location can be tracked minute by minute. Why not share it with the passengers who had trusted your bloated hype? And isn't it ironical that the Railway Minister is also the IT Minister but the Railways don't know where their train is at any given moment?

The stranded passengers were treated like dirt (again, on the airlines model) in other ways too. They had to stand on their feet for two hours- there were barely half a dozen dirty benches on the platform for more than a thousand; if there were old, or sick or disabled, that was just too bad, they were collateral damage on the country's journey to vishwaguru status. The platform, where India's most (allegedly) magnificent train was to arrive, resembled a Sadar Bazaar trading yard. Every now and then a cop would come and shoo them away for causing overcrowding!- where were they supposed to go?

[Passengers at NDRS waiting for the Vande Bharat doors to open. The similarity to a cattle yard is coincidental. Photo by Atul Shukla]

It was no better inside the train (when it finally arrived): the entrance foyer was jammed with all kinds of food cartons, garbage bags and crates of bottled water. The toilets were awash like Niagra Falls. The meals showed the effects of privatisation at its worst- packets of "chura" of unknown origin, a soft drink, something which was said to be tea and a moldy piece of cake; we added up their printed MRPs, which came to Rs. 50/, though IRCTC must have got them at least at 25% less through the lowest tender process. The passengers, however, paid Rs. 80/ each- another proof of how rapidly the railways are moving on to the airline model. The train's maximum speed (displayed on an LED screen above the doors) never exceeded 128 kmph, and that too for very short periods, so much for its high-speed boast of 180 kmph.

The worst, however was to come on the return trip when we disgorged from the train at the New Delhi Railway station at 11.00 PM. Complete pandemonium prevailed on the Ajmeri Gate side exit- no proper lanes for cars, no separate lanes for taxis, no identified points for boarding or deboarding: these are all standard requirements/facilities at any railway station in any developed country. The result was total chaos- hundred of passengers rushing around, blocking traffic, to find their ordered Olas and Ubers, vehicles parked any which way. It took us more than 45 minutes (one fifth the journey time from Kanpur on the train!) to locate our Ola and exit the station. I shudder to think what would have been the fate of the old, the disabled, ladies travelling alone and foreign tourists unaccustomed to our bureaucracy who had swallowed the fable of "Athiti Deva Bhav." I longed wistfully for the Shatabdi days, when one just went to the pre-paid taxi/ auto rickshaw booths managed by police, paid the fare, and were allotted a taxi/auto without any fuss or the danger of being run over.

So here's the low-down. Today's trumpeted trains are no better-probably worse- than our earlier Shatabdis and Rajdhanis which made no tall claims but delivered more than they promised. All this hype of high-speed trains is just that- false hype. We may have the technical capacity to build such trains, but we lack the administrative and policy-making ability to operate them as they should. Reasons?- lack of infrastructure: tracks, signaling and communication systems, skilling of staff, catering, station management, accountability. The Railways' planning model is faulty and has been stood on its head: instead of planning from the top down it should be doing the reverse- upgrade the infrastructure to developed countries level first and THEN introduce the high speed trains.

Most important- treat your paying passenger with respect and consideration. Travel is not just about speed, it's a package of various experiences. The Railway's responsibility does not end on the platform- it has to develop proper station infrastructure, both inside and outside, ensure systems that enable a passenger to enter and exit a station in an orderly manner, with convenience and safety. Dial down the hype and dial up the delivery. It's a long, long way to 2047, Mr. Minister, a much more difficult journey than the three-piece suit hop to Davos. 

AN INDIAN VIEW OF THE EPSTEIN FILES- WE ARE LIKE THIS ONLY.

 

Epstein who? Emails-when? Meetings-where?

Every era produces its own prophets, who inscribe their wisdom on our digital walls; the year 1 AE (After Epstein) is no different. A friend has just forwarded to me this priceless diagnosis of what ails us: When faced with temptation, wise people abstain. The others Epstein. This single digit sentence explains what the Epstein Files are all about, and why a pedophile, sex-trafficking celebrity, long dead, is causing so much churning in the capitals of the neoliberal world (and in India, which is neither neo nor liberal). Here are the titbits (is that the appropriate word?)  which I have gleaned so far from this affair.

One hears that Mr. Vivek Agnihotri, the film Director so beloved of the BJP, is a very angry and worried man these days. He has lost his IPR and franchise of the word "Files"; his Kashmir Files, Bengal Files and Kerala Files had an authoritative ring about them, for are files not the repository of truth within the government ? But he no longer has the "personality rights" on this word  for it has been hijacked by Epstein and Pam Bondi and henceforth will convey, not pseudo-nationalism and Islamophobia, but sex, sleaze and betrayal- a more exciting batter, I agree, but not one which can garner votes. Mr Agnihotri will now have to look for a new word for "Files": may I suggest "Lies" or "Fakery" or "Fibs" ?

The world's glitterati- the Davos types, politicians, marquee actors and singers, the fixers, fashionistas, sheikhs and sultans- who cannot bear to be out of the news for even a day, are faced with a horrific quandary: which is worse- being mentioned in the Epstein files or not being mentioned in them? (Remember Oscar Wilde: The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about?) The former can lead to social disapprobation, dismissal, law suits and even worse; the latter would be a living death, for it would be final proof that they are non-entities, that they never mattered, were not important enough to be honey-trapped. For some the wretched choice has already been made- Andrew Mountbatten Windsor, Lord Mandelson, the President of the WEF, the Swedish Chief of UNHCR, an ex Chief of the CIA. The elite in India too is holding its breath, poring over every new list of emails through their Cartier or Maybach looking glasses to see if their names (or, God forbid, their photo!) are there. But the common man-i.e. 99% of India- is not bothered: he's busy full time in checking if his name is on the voter's list. This is Mr. Gyanesh Kumar's stellar contribution to limiting the impact of the Epstein story within our shores! Thank you, sir.

But we have two shining stars (or potential asteroids for Mr. Modi) from India who have the distinction of having made it to the Epstein short-list: one a Minister who has anger management issues and a failing memory for number of meetings held and emails sent, the other a Captain of industry who, to continue with the cricketing analogy, has a weakness for the fine leg, especially if it is attached to a tall, blonde Norwegian of the opposite sex (if the emails are right). Right now the two are being pilloried by Rahul Gandhi in Parliament, quite unjustly, in my view. For one was promoting Digital India (even before it was conceived!) and the other building our Vishwaguru status globally, all undercover (or covers), of course; if the price of these laudable objectives involved enjoying the hospitality of a convicted sex predator or a massage or two, so be it. It was all for King and country, wasn't it, in the finest traditions of Lawrence of Arabia, Kim Philby, Mata Hari and James Bond, to mention just a few. All done at their own expense and time. Never have so many owed so much (in crypto, of course) to so few! Methinks, a Padma Bhushan or two would be in order here.

Finally, it must be said the Epstein Files is no respecter of reputations. One mail mentions our very own globally acclaimed wellness guru, Deepak Chopra, who dispenses advice (at very steep rates) to CEO's about how to view life. But per one released mail he has reserved his most penetrating observation for Mr. Epstein: 

"God is a construct, cute girls are real." 

In other words, what you see (in that Manhattan flat or Virgin Islands resort) is what you get, so grab it (or her). Forget about God! A cutie in the hand is worth a deity in the bush ! No wonder the man has made millions.

Even His Holiness the Dalai Lama appears to have been dragged into this controversy needlessly, with Chinese social media alleging that he had met Epstein, in an apparent attempt to discredit him after his Grammy win earlier this month. The Dalai Lama's office has issued a strong contradiction and condemnation of these planted posts. I am sure no sane person would believe this Chinese canard. But it must have been a close call for His Holiness's advisors, and a difficult choice- should they ignore this Chinese slander, or should they condemn it ? This is what I would call being on the horns of a dalailama.

And while Heads of Government all over the world are speaking on the Files, ordering inquiries and sacking people, in India there is total silence. The Prime Minister only speaks during election times, his hangers on cannot speak of anything except Rahul Gandhi's ancestors, and the media is still fighting the Sindoor war with Pakistan and discussing the bisexuality of Babur. The country has become one vast black hole from which no light can emerge. But if you listen carefully, you'll hear a protesting voice emanating from that hole: "What! Me resign? But I was ambushed!"

We are like this only, folks. Satyamev Jayate.

BUDGET 2026-27: WHAT ABOUT THE ENVIRONMENT, MADAM FINANCE MINISTER ?

Preservation and protection of the natural environment has never been a priority in our annual Budgets; ALL Finance Ministers have taken it for granted and have treated it as an infinite resource rather than a living entity to be nurtured and carefully harvested on a sustainable basis. In July 2014 I had written a blog on these pages about precisely this: Budget 2014- Shortchanging the Environment. Eleven years down the line this catastrophic deficiency in planning persists, even though a new, and compelling, dimension has been added now with the acceleration of Climate Change (CC). The need now is, not only to provide public funding for measures to counter CC (adaptation, mitigation) but also for rehabilitation of those directly affected by it- poor farmers, landless labourers, fishermen, nomadic tribes. Unfortunately (and predictably) this Budget, like its predecessors, does none of this.

We should perhaps have expected this from the tone of the Economic Survey 2026, released a couple of weeks earlier. In it, the Chief Economic Advisor blatantly bats for growth and neo-capitalism at the cost of the environment. Defying all science, he states that cutting carbon emissions should not be our top priority, and that "a 3*Celsius world would be a liveable one"(!) Confounding all evidence and scientific global consensus, he goes on to maintain that "growth and prosperity strengthen resilience and reduce vulnerability.." Yes, sir, they do, but only if  done in a sustainable and ecologically friendly manner, which is not how it is happening in India. Maybe, if the Economic Advisor had paid more attention to what a fellow economist (without any political bias), Gita Gopinath, had said in Davos, he would have better understood the problem, and how wrong he is. 

This government suffers from a severe case of CID (Compulsive Infrastructure Disorder); Capex is fine and needed for growth, but so is the environment. There are huge environmental costs to rapid infrastructural expansion- both the World Bank and the IMF estimate this at between 3.5%-5% of our GDP, which comes to about USD 200 billion or 1800000 crore rupees. 

The 2026-27 budget proudly mentions the creation of a mineral corridor (for rare earths) in four southern states, three more high-speed rail corridors, zero duties for maritime catches in India's EEZ (Exclusive Economic Zone) or the high seas, tax exemptions for setting up data centers, but there is no mention of how the environmental consequences of these initiatives shall be addressed or mitigation of them funded. Are these corridors necessary at all, given the large number of expressways being built all over the country? The corridors shall lead to large scale land acquisition and displacement of populations, adding to the 60 million project refugees already created since Independence. Hundreds of thousands of trees (and mangroves, since rare earths are found in large quantities in coastal areas) shall be felled. The boost to maritime fisheries is welcome, but where are the guard rails to ensure that the livelihoods of traditional fishermen will be protected and not replaced by mechanised trawlers or that measures shall be taken to curb overfishing? The data centers require humongous quantities of power and water- where will they come from in this water stressed country?

The damage to the environment by the various corridors will be enormous, as pointed out above. The dilution of the regulations that could have checked this, or compensated for it, such as the Forest Conservation Act, the Environmental Protection Act, the Wildlife Protection Act, and the defenestration of the regulatory institutions, have so weakened these checks over the years that we can expect minimum oversight or safeguards in the execution of these projects.

Thousands of crores shall be needed to mitigate, and compensate for, the adverse impacts of these projects, but the Finance Minister has said not a word about this- about who will pay for it and where the funds shall come from. This silence and ambiguity appears to be a deliberate strategy of decentralisation of costs to the states: the political credit and financial gains will accrue to the Center, but the social and budgetary costs will have to be borne by the states from their own resources- an innovative (mis)interpretation of the concept idea of federalism!

Finally, it appears that the 16th Finance Commission is also in lockstep with the central govt. like all so-called autonomous institutions in this country. For it has chosen to completely ignore the right of the Himalayan states to fair compensation for the ecological services they provide to the country (water, clean air, carbon sequestration, climate moderation). These states, supported by a large number of advocacy groups, had demanded a Green Bonus of Rs. 50000 crores over the five year period of 2026-2031. Not only would this have been fair compensation, these funds would have met their developmental needs without having to resort to unsustainable  exploitation of their forests, rivers minerals and tourism potential. Any idiot can see that excessive and unsustainable "development" of the Himalaya (and other mountain ranges like the Aravallis and Western Ghats) is not in the interest of the country as a whole, and that therefore these mountain states should be incentivised not to do so.

But the 16th F.C. failed to see this simple truth. Early reports indicate that it has not provided any Green Bonus; nor has it provided any special grants (outside the Center's discretion, which has now become totally politicised) for climate mitigation or disaster relief. All it has done is tinker with the definition of forests which, in pure financial terms, is meaningless. Even worse, the 16th FC has now discontinued the RDG (Revenue Deficit Grant) which these states had been receiving since 1974, making a huge dent in their finances. They shall now have no option but to continue to ravage the fragile Himalayan environment to fund their development activities.

Whether or not the BJP gains from this year's Budget is a moot question; what is not moot is that the short-sighted neglect of the environment continues unabated in our planning and funding processes. Ms Sitharaman and her co-pilot in the Finance Commission have just nudged us a bit closer to environmental collapse, and the financial collapse of some states.

NOT JUST AQI, WHAT WE NEED IS A BSI ( BULLSHIT INDEX ).

 ONE has always had the highest admiration and respect for Merryll Streep' s acting qualities, graceful beauty and composure. To these qualities I should now add her strong moral conviction and the courage to speak out: her take down of Trump at the recent Golden Globe awards function was something to watch, and won her a standing ovation. (Hopefully our Bollywood marionettes watched it too). But I find that she is also relevant to the India of today: as proof, here is another of her statements:

" Funny thing about getting older, your eyesight starts getting weaker but your ability to see through people's bullshit gets much better."

I can vouch for the fact that never was a truer word spoken: at three score and fifteen, I can no longer spot the prettiest lady in a crowd before Neerja can bat an eyelid  (as I was wont to earlier), and I take quite a few wrong turns on the road as the traffic signs have become as blurred as Mr. Modi's visions for 2047, but give me a piece of bullshit and I can spot it for what it is instantly, through the layers of grandstanding, hypocrisy and ignorance which is the hallmark of our government and ruling classes.

IIT Kanpur got it all wrong when it diagnosed the NCR smog as consisting mainly of vehicle emissions, construction dust and paddy burning. It failed to detect a major ingredient- Bullshit (BS)- whose particles- BS 2.5 by lesser politicos and BS 10 by Ministers- have seen a major increase since 2014. These emissions are usually disguised as droplets of nationalism, religious revivalism or Viksit Bharat slogans. They affect, not the lungs, but the IQ of the residents here, which explains why the BJP keeps winning elections. In fact, I have a theory about this: the lower the IQ of a particular place, the higher its AQI readings. To test this thesis I am now looking for a nerd who can build a  B***S**T Index (BSI).

Readers would be well aware of the blasts of BS sprayed on a regular basis by those who decide the nation's destiny- that there is no connection between air pollution and lung diseases, that 2025 was the "cleanest" year in Delhi's history, that AQI and temperature are one and the same, that the EU trade deal is the "mother of all deals" (which presumably would make the Trade deal with the USA the "mother-in-law" of all deals), that mountains should be defined by height, not their ecological importance, that that those who feed stray dogs should keep them in their homes- the largest adoption programme in the world's history, considering that there are 70 million of these community dogs, that the US SEC's summons could not be served on Adani because it did not have an official stamp, that the globally acclaimed Sonam Wangchuk   is a security threat to India, that we need to take "revenge" for centuries of occupation by outside forces, that it is one Chief Minister's personal mission to hound a minority community and expel six lakhs of them from the state's voter list, that trade unions are responsible for the country's lack of progress. It's a long list, folks, and getting longer with each BJP election victory, which is why the smog keeps getting thicker.

But the mother of all BS 10's was discharged recently by our suave, foreign university educated (MBA, University of Pennsylvania) bureaucrat-turned-billionaire Railway Minister who announced that he was banning the wearing of "bandh gallas" in the Railways because it was a (British) "colonial legacy." Now, generations of IAS officers will agree that the bandhgalla is the nearest they have got to a hangman's noose, that it is an instrument of torture, especially during the summer months. It needs to go, for climatic reasons. But to banish it because it is a colonial vestige reeks of  ignorance and hypocrisy posturing as nationalism and  "desh bhakti". It also indicates that the Hon' Minister suffers from both long and short term memory loss.

He forgot that the "bandhgalla" is not a British invention-it (or a close variant of it) was the formal dress of the Mughal courts and the ruling families of Mewar and Rajasthan; the more showy "achkan" or "sherwani" also belongs to this apparel family. Worse, by landing up in Davos just a week later in a three-piece suit- an indisputably British attire - he not only displayed short term memory loss but also his lack of sincerity about banishing colonialism! 

Did he also forget that the whole system of railways in India was built by the British, replacing the humble bullock-cart, and changing the face of the country? Would he also like to ban (with a little help from the RSS, no doubt) the English language, the University system of education, allopathy, nuclear technology and the watch, sunglasses and pens which adorn our Prime Minister's personage, all products of colonial nations?                                                         Maybe he would like to rethink his passion for all things "colonial", be a bit more discriminatory and focus on those things and practices which truly reflect the worst of the colonial past and have no place in a modern India. Here is a short list:

Unelected (and usually unelectable) Governors who behave like Viceroys and lord it over elected governments; Raj Bhavans which function as opulent embassies of the Center in the states (and sometimes as dens of conspiracy); summer vacations of Supreme Court judges (even though tens of thousands of cases are pending in that court and no other institution enjoys this facility); the humiliating practice of addressing judges as "Mluds" in a free country; the royal trappings of just about everything in Rashtrapati Bhavan, including a cavalry regiment exclusively dedicated to escorting the President, on the lines of the Praetorian Guard of the Roman emperors, or the Garde Imperial of Napoleon, or the Gardes Suisses or the Gardes Francaisses of the Swiss and French monarchs, respectively. The President is no monarch, (or at least so we hope), and there is no need to display such in-your-face-pomp to the citizens of a democracy, especially when it comes at such a cost.

There are plenty of colonial practices which need to be jettisoned, but we can surely do better than begin with the bandhgalla ? When B***S**t becomes state policy, one has to agree with the dude who redefined Pranayam as : Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit. Which is why we need a BSI, folks

WHATSAPP AND THE NEED FOR A DIGITAL DETOX .

 If you ask me, this WhatsApp (WA) texting is getting quite out of hand. I'm no social spark, my social skills being on par with a grizzly just emerging from a four month hibernation, but even I find about 20-25 new messages on my phone when I wake up of a morning. And during the course of the day there will be about another 30 or so. Of this, only about 5 will convey anything meaningful, the rest will be rubbish- generic religious greetings, homilies on how to live well, quotations from unheard sages, all kinds of fake news, RIP messages. Some of these I find intriguing. Let me explain.

Take the RIPs. What's the point of sending an RIP on a group chat if a member or relative/friend of one has passed on? How does that console the effected family? Would it not make more sense if the message were sent directly to the family of the deceased? Is the intention of the messaging to make a public display of your concern or to show genuine sympathy or grief ? If the former, wouldn't it be better to take out a two column insert in the TRIBUNE or TIMES OF INDIA?

Then come the proforma greetings- Happy Republic Day! Happy New Year! Happy Women's Day! Happy Ganesh Chaturthi! Now, apart from the fact that there is little happiness attached to any of these occasions nowadays, not one of these messages is usually composed by the sender- all of them are "Forwards"! These are "pass through" wishes, second hand greetings: this alone says a lot about their sincerity or genuineness. And what's the ruddy point of all this, considering that your cup of happiness is already overflowing since every blessed day of the year is "Happy something or the other"?

Even the "news" or informatory items are usually "forwards", rarely does the sender verify their authenticity or give his own views, and one doesn't have a clue why it has been sent. No only is this  intellectual laziness at its worst, it also assumes that you are an ignoramus who has no idea of what is going on in the world and therefore needs to be reminded every half hour!

I usually delete all such messages without even reading them. In addition, I have on my WA groups a mental list of such serial offenders and delete their messages without even looking at them. So, you may well ask, why am I getting so riled up about all this?

Because, dear reader, there's an environmental cost to this digital diarrhea. The internet contributes more to global pollution levels than the Aviation sector- 3.7 % as against the latter's 3%. Globally, 150 billion WA messages are texted every day (this is in addition to 300 billion emails !) Every WA (or email) message generates 0.3 to 0.7 gms of CO2; attached pictures, video or audio increase this to 17 gms. (This is the result of the energy needed to power your device, servers, and the data centres that store the data). Not much to bother about, you might say. But do the maths to understand my angst.          India has about 800 million WA users; assuming each user sends just 20 messages a day, the daily total comes to 16 billion messages. Assume again that each message contributes 0.5 gms of CO2, the daily emission is 10 grams per user. Extrapolating this for 800 million users, the pollution contribution by Whatsapp comes to 8000 tonnes per day or 2,920,000 tonnes per annum.

The contributions of Gmail, Netflix, Youtube are in addition, and much higher. The latest to join the polluting bandwagon is AI whose data centers consume humungous amounts of power (and water): the AI chatbot Chat GTP's emissions per month are equivalent to 260  flights from New York to London! The digital carbon footprint, currently almost 4% of total emissions, is expected to double in the next five years.

As in other areas of consumption, we must be more responsible, and  incorporate digital, or data, hygiene in our use of the internet. Apart from putting a stop to unnecessary texting, experts advise that we should clear out our old and dated stored messages, photos and videos regularly, avoid sending attachments unnecessarily, unsubscribe from unwanted news letters, compress docs before sending them, stop this pernicious and fashionable practice of "binge-watching". It is not necessary to forward every message received on WhatsApp to all and sundry simply to show how well connected, or informed, you are; moreover, chances are that most of these folks would already have received these messages from others who think just as you do!  Try and spend one day in a week without sending any messages. Every little bit helps and we need to practice digital detoxing on a regular basis. If not, stop complaining about the AQI: a country gets the leaders-and AQI- it deserves.