Epstein who? Emails-when? Meetings-where?
Every era produces its own prophets, who inscribe their wisdom on our digital walls; the year 1 AE (After Epstein) is no different. A friend has just forwarded to me this priceless diagnosis of what ails us: When faced with temptation, wise people abstain. The others Epstein. This single digit sentence explains what the Epstein Files are all about, and why a pedophile, sex-trafficking celebrity, long dead, is causing so much churning in the capitals of the neoliberal world (and in India, which is neither neo nor liberal). Here are the titbits (is that the appropriate word?) which I have gleaned so far from this affair.
One hears that Mr. Vivek Agnihotri, the film Director so beloved of the BJP, is a very angry and worried man these days. He has lost his IPR and franchise of the word "Files"; his Kashmir Files, Bengal Files and Kerala Files had an authoritative ring about them, for are files not the repository of truth within the government ? But he no longer has the "personality rights" on this word for it has been hijacked by Epstein and Pam Bondi and henceforth will convey, not pseudo-nationalism and Islamophobia, but sex, sleaze and betrayal- a more exciting batter, I agree, but not one which can garner votes. Mr Agnihotri will now have to look for a new word for "Files": may I suggest "Lies" or "Fakery" or "Fibs" ?
The world's glitterati- the Davos types, politicians, marquee actors and singers, the fixers, fashionistas, sheikhs and sultans- who cannot bear to be out of the news for even a day, are faced with a horrific quandary: which is worse- being mentioned in the Epstein files or not being mentioned in them? (Remember Oscar Wilde: The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about?) The former can lead to social disapprobation, dismissal, law suits and even worse; the latter would be a living death, for it would be final proof that they are non-entities, that they never mattered, were not important enough to be honey-trapped. For some the wretched choice has already been made- Andrew Mountbatten Windsor, Lord Mandelson, the President of the WEF, the Swedish Chief of UNHCR, an ex Chief of the CIA. The elite in India too is holding its breath, poring over every new list of emails through their Cartier or Maybach looking glasses to see if their names (or, God forbid, their photo!) are there. But the common man-i.e. 99% of India- is not bothered: he's busy full time in checking if his name is on the voter's list. This is Mr. Gyanesh Kumar's stellar contribution to limiting the impact of the Epstein story within our shores! Thank you, sir.
But we have two shining stars (or potential asteroids for Mr. Modi) from India who have the distinction of having made it to the Epstein short-list: one a Minister who has anger management issues and a failing memory for number of meetings held and emails sent, the other a Captain of industry who, to continue with the cricketing analogy, has a weakness for the fine leg, especially if it is attached to a tall, blonde Norwegian of the opposite sex (if the emails are right). Right now the two are being pilloried by Rahul Gandhi in Parliament, quite unjustly, in my view. For one was promoting Digital India (even before it was conceived!) and the other building our Vishwaguru status globally, all undercover (or covers), of course; if the price of these laudable objectives involved enjoying the hospitality of a convicted sex predator or a massage or two, so be it. It was all for King and country, wasn't it, in the finest traditions of Lawrence of Arabia, Kim Philby, Mata Hari and James Bond, to mention just a few. All done at their own expense and time. Never have so many owed so much (in crypto, of course) to so few! Methinks, a Padma Bhushan or two would be in order here.
Finally, it must be said the Epstein Files is no respecter of reputations. One mail mentions our very own globally acclaimed wellness guru, Deepak Chopra, who dispenses advice (at very steep rates) to CEO's about how to view life. But per one released mail he has reserved his most penetrating observation for Mr. Epstein:
"God is a construct, cute girls are real."
In other words, what you see (in that Manhattan flat or Virgin Islands resort) is what you get, so grab it (or her). Forget about God! A cutie in the hand is worth a deity in the bush ! No wonder the man has made millions.
Even His Holiness the Dalai Lama appears to have been dragged into this controversy needlessly, with Chinese social media alleging that he had met Epstein, in an apparent attempt to discredit him after his Grammy win earlier this month. The Dalai Lama's office has issued a strong contradiction and condemnation of these planted posts. I am sure no sane person would believe this Chinese canard. But it must have been a close call for His Holiness's advisors, and a difficult choice- should they ignore this Chinese slander, or should they condemn it ? This is what I would call being on the horns of a dalailama.
And while Heads of Government all over the world are speaking on the Files, ordering inquiries and sacking people, in India there is total silence. The Prime Minister only speaks during election times, his hangers on cannot speak of anything except Rahul Gandhi's ancestors, and the media is still fighting the Sindoor war with Pakistan and discussing the bisexuality of Babur. The country has become one vast black hole from which no light can emerge. But if you listen carefully, you'll hear a protesting voice emanating from that hole: "What! Me resign? But I was ambushed!"
We are like this only, folks. Satyamev Jayate.
