FAREWELL PARTIES AND ASHOK KHEMKA'S MOVING EXPERIENCES

The redoubtable Ashok Khemka, an urban legend from the Jat-land of Haryana, retired from the IAS on the 30th of last month. He had had his brief hour of fame and glory (always a dangerous thing for an IAS officer, though Mr. Amitav Kant appears to have bucked this trend) about 12 years ago when he refused to register a land deal of Mr. Robert Vadra because he smelt a (Vad)rat: an act of bravery worthy of a medal if not a mention in dispatches, considering that the said Vadra was the nation's acknowledged son-in-law. As it turned out, however, Mr. Khemka got neither a medal nor a mention, he was transferred. Which brings me smoothly to the heart of my story.

Ashok Khemka served for about 34 years and was transferred 57 times, something one hopes the Guinness Book of Records will take note of. He had probably hoped that with the change of government in 2014 his fortunes too would change and that he would, like a good dog, be rewarded with a juicy bone in the matter of postings and that he would come in from the cold, as it were. Not so, because the new, non-Congress govt. transferred him yet again! For politicians, though fond of dogs as status symbols, prefer the poodle or lap-dog breed and not the hound or German Shepherd type. It doesn't matter which political party a Chief Minister graces- when it comes to dogs a pit-bull like Mr. Khemka is a strict no-no. And so, 12 years later Mr. Vadra continues to be the Opposition's official son-in-law and the cases against him have petered out like the mystical Saraswati river, while Mr. Khemka has now passed into the realm of archives, like all of us, and may shortly become a case study in Mussoorie.

Be that as it may, however, I am here on a different though related issue, viz. that with 57 transfers Mr. Khemka must have got 57 farewell parties- another record, by the way. And it is these farewell parties which I wish to dilate on today, having had some experience of them myself, though I bow before the sheer numerical superiority of Mr. Khemka.

Farewell parties are an integral part of a career in the IAS, but like everything in the bureaucracy, they serve a double purpose. The overt purpose is to extol the retiree's qualities and achievements, while glossing over his failures. The good is emphasized while the not-so-good is interred with the (tandoori chicken) bones, as Shakespeare would have put it if he had dined at a curry restaurant in Stratford. But it is the second, covert, purpose which really matters- to tell the retiring bloke that his innings is now over, and that by accepting the farewell he is now estopped from seeking any extension. But this does not work always, which is what makes the repast a bit like the Last Supper: the Chief Guest retiree usually rises again on the third day, like Christ, reemployed in some supernumerary post. Why, there is even a Judas lurking behind the scenes- the guy who has planned it all and hopes to succeed the retiring Chief Secretary or whatever, ready with a gift to seal the deal, as it were. 

At least, that's how things were during my days, but times have now changed and the old rules no longer apply, as events in one state last month demonstrated. IAS officers no longer accept retirement as a natural and inevitable denouement to a successful career; imbued by a nationalistic fervour, they wish to continue to serve the nation, at least till the next Pay Commission increases their salaries and resultant pensions. And so, apropos the event mentioned above, the Chief Secretary of the state was invited for his farewell dinner by the IAS Association on the eve of his retirement, at considerable cost to the members. The CS arrived graciously, and just before the consomme was served announced that he had been granted an extension of six months! Judas had to be given first aid on the spot.                                      Now, as regards the original Last Supper, Biblical records are not clear about who paid for the meal. It could have been the GAD (General Administration Deptt) where all such bills for victuals land up, or it could have been Judas (from out of the thirty pieces of silver he had received) or it could have been the Holy Ghost via PrayTM (as PayTM was then known). But in the case of the Chief Secretary mentioned above the Association members had shucked out hefty amounts from their own pockets, so, as expected, there were murmurs of protest at their having been sold a pig in a poke. To calm them down, it is reported that the said CS has promised that he will not expect a farewell again  when he does retire in the fulness of time. A knotty (or is it naughty?) issue, if ever there ever was one.

But it does appear to have set the cat among the pigeons: IAS Associations all across the country are now thinking of a new SOP for farewell parties, I learn. In future all retirees (especially Chief Secretaries) will be asked to furnish an affidavit before a farewell dinner is organised for them. They will be required to give an undertaking to the effect that (a) they have not sought an extension in service, and (b) in case they do get an extension they would refund to the Association the entire bill of the farewell dinner.

Mr. Khemka has eluded this fate by a whisker, fortunately, and has retired with the grace and dignity we expected from him. He has announced that he will now enter the legal profession, which is welcome news for a profession where crores are found in judges' houses and the bar looks like a mix of crony capitalists and the United Auto Workers Union. But I do have a suggestion for him to consider: given his vast experience in moving house and home every eight months for almost four decades: he could consider setting up a packers and movers company. I even have a name and tag-line for his new venture- KHEMKA MOVERS AND SHAKERS- WE PROMISE YOU A MOVING EXPERIENCE.

(I will, of course, understand if he turns down my well meaning suggestion.)

INTERVIEW WITH KARAN THAPAR

 Press Release & Video: India is becoming a nation of duffers and we’re evolving back to the neanderthal stage: Avay Shukla, Author ‘Holy Cows and Loose Cannons: The Duffer Zone Chronicles’ to Karan Thapar for The Wire.

 

In an interview to mark the publication of his recent collection of blogs called ‘Holy Cows and Loose Cannons: The Duffer Zone Chronicles’, Avay Shukla, who is arguably the country’s favourite blogger, says India could be becoming a nation of duffers and that we’re evolving back to the neanderthal stage. He says: “It is clear that the Indian side of the LAC is one big duffer zone all the way to Kanyakumari.” He also says: “Other countries evolve for the better, we have been consistently doing it for the worse, and are proud of it.”

 

This new collection comprises some fifty essays on a variety of different subjects but in each instance the Avay Shukla brand stands out. They are about our  peccadilloes, our idiosyncrasies, our prejudices, our vices, our foibles and our misdemeanours. Some of them are serious, many are satirical, several are simply great fun to read.

 

Let me give you a taste of some of the things that have attracted Avay Shukla’s attention and his versatile pen. He is infuriated by Indians who suddenly turn against our Muslim culture and heritage. Of them he writes: “They have suddenly discovered God and find that He can only be a Hindu. After growing up on Mughlai food, listening to ghazals and qawalis, conversing in a language that has as many Urdu words as Hindustani, swooning over Dilip Kumar, Madhubala and Waheeda Rehman, saying wah wah to the poems of Ghalib and Gulzar … they have now concluded that these are evil influences, they threaten our Hindu sanskars and girls and the whole lot must be banished.”

 

Avay Shukla is also eloquently opposed to Resident Welfare Associations who have started trying to determine how their members must live and think. Of them he says: “They are gradually becoming the self-appointed gatekeepers of morality, culture and political discourse … the time is not far off when these busy bodies may determine what their members eat, how they dress, to which Gods they pray … why they may even insist that all their members vote for a particular party.”

 

The Kashmir Files is a film that has, in particular, provoked Avay Shukla’s anger. He’s extremely eloquent in his criticism of it as well as his critique of the way both the Central government and several state governments sought to promote the film.

 

However, don’t let me convey a wrong impression of this collection of blogs. Many of them are tongue-in-cheek. For instance, Avay Shukla applauds the use of black money in elections. Watch the interview to find out precisely what he says. And, of course, Avay Shukla says of himself: “I’m a congenital dog lover”. But he readily forgives those who do not consider a dog to be man’s best friend.

 

As you will see, I have carefully given you details of the subjects that Avay Shukla talks about but I have equally carefully shied away from giving you details of what he said. This is because you must hear Avay Shukla in his own words. Like his blogs, he is a memorable speaker.

 

Here is the link to the interview: https://youtu.be/2JSFsEnhl_w?si=pbsjlOtFONfdcRYl

 

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India is Becoming a Nation of Duffers and We’re Evolving Back to the Neanderthal Stage: Avay Shukla

OUR SOLDIERS WON THE WAR FOR US - BUT POLITICS AND THE MEDIA HAVE UNDONE THEIR GOOD WORK

 Going beyond the nit picking about the number of "assets" lost by India and Pakistan, it is now clear that we have inflicted significant losses on the latter. In doing so our defence forces have also demonstrated the technological and air power to enforce the Prime Minister's stated resolve to extract a heavy price for any future terror attacks. Why then is there no chorus of global support for India in its battle against terrorism? Why did the wide-spread surge of sympathy post Pahalgam peter out so soon? Why did no country stand with us in those four crucial days, like China, Turkey and Azerbaijan did for Pakistan? Why was the IMF able to sanction another one billion dollars for Pakistan in the midst of its nuclear saber rattling? Why was Trump again able to hyphenate India and Pakistan and throw in the mediation spanner in the works, knowing fully well our historical opposition to it? Why did the international reporting of those four days favour the Pakistani version of events rather than ours? 

The answer, perhaps, lies in what Arun Shourie told Karan Thapar in an interview on the 13th of this month- that "the Indian media has destroyed our credibility." With, may I add, not a little help from the government and its right wing cohorts. This ensured that we lost the global perception war.

Media (particularly television) reporting since the Pahalgam incident has been (again in the words of Shourie) no less than "a crime against the country". Firstly, these four or five rogue channels with their deranged, hate-filled and venomous anchors consistently equated terrorists and Pakistan with Muslims in general, distorting the narrative and seeking to drive a thicker wedge between our two major communities. This is something they have been doing, without any check, for the last ten years, but in a time of war this can be particularly dangerous for the unity of the nation and the morale of the armed forces.

The language used by these anchors in their broadcasts can only belong to the gutters where they were perhaps born. Newslaundry has compiled a short clip of some of these instances and I would urge the reader to view it to grasp the utter depths of coarseness and vulgarity to which they have sunk: in one clip the anchor, who calls himself a retired Major (much to the shame of our army) describes the Foreign Minister of a strategically important (for us) Islamic nation as a "suar ka aulad" (son of a pig) and even writes it out on the screen in case you were hard of hearing! (This has since resulted in a diplomatic row but, as expected, no action has been taken against this anchor for creating enmity with a foreign power, a standard criminal action against journalists who do not enjoy the govt's patronage). This is not behaviour calculated to endear our country to Islamic nations: just a couple of days later Saudi Arabia, Qatar and the UAE supported the IMF loan to Pakistan. It could have been a coincidence, but I doubt it. 

The misreporting of the conflict crossed all limits of fakery, dishonesty and war mongering, studios were converted to mendacious war-rooms where all manner of fiction was concocted: the destruction of Karachi port, the occupation of Islamabad, the imminent fall of Rawalpindi, even the bombing of Kirana Hills and Pakistan's nuclear installations and the release of radiation (denied by the Indian Air Force and the International Atomic Energy Agency, respectively). Every single hour these channels contradicted the official briefings in Delhi, causing confusion, panic and loss of our credibility internationally. And even now, one week after the cease fire came into effect, they continue with their war mongering instead of trying to bring down temperatures, instill calm and report only on facts.

The govt. too did its bit to damage our journalistic reputation by its usual ham-handed and selective targeting of the few reporters and commentators who had established a reputation for independent, fearless and critically objective reporting. It committed a perception hara-kiri by taking down channels like The Wire, 4 PM, Praveen Sawney, Punya Prasun Bajpai, and filing cases against Neha Singh Rathore and Medusa of Lucknow University. The only voices which could be trusted to be objective were silenced- the world drew the obvious lessons from this- that the Indian govt. was hiding something- and discounted everything as propaganda. 

The whole world knows that India does not have an independent media, and that our TV news channels and print media are defacto extensions of the govt's information apparatus. So, the loss of credibility of the media over the progress of the war resulted in a loss of trust and credibility of the official spokespersons also, be they the MEA or the defence briefings. To put it bluntly, no one believed our version of events and relied instead on Reuters, BBC, New York Times, Washington Post and spokespersons of other countries!

What has added to our discomfiture and isolation is the complete failure  of Indian diplomacy ever since Mr. Jaishankar has taken over the reins in the MEA. His pulpit thumping arrogance, his aggressive preaching and abrasive moralising to other countries whenever he grabs a mike, his talking down to countries far above us in the global pecking order, his refusal to recognize that our "vishwaguru" ambitions do not match our status in international matters, his inability to discern that most leading nations now consider India a flawed democracy which stands for no principles but sheer opportunism- all this has led the global community to suspect our politics and policies and to keep a reasonable distance from us. The war with Pakistan has shown that India has no allies left, not even in our immediate neighbourhood. Our soldiers fought alone.

The last nail in the coffin of our reputation and international standing was, as expected, hammered in by the right-wing cyber warriors and the infamous IT Cell. Misinformation apart, social media was flooded with posts spewing hate against Kashmiris and their community leading to Kashmiri students being driven out of hostels and colleges in some states, demands for ethnic cleansing of Muslims and the annihilation of Pakistan; one BJP Minister in Madhya Pradesh even labelled Col. Sofia Quereshi as a sister of the terrorists! The state took no action against him till the High Court intervened suo-moto and ordered the registration of a case against him- his party is yet to take any action against him. The ruthless trolling of the Foreign Secretary and his daughter by right wing sympathisers (for announcing a cease-fire) forced the officer to suspend his X account. The depths of perversion were reached when even Himanshi Narwal, the widow of a naval officer killed by the terrorists at Pahalgam, was not spared: right-wing bigots trolled her mercilessly, poured venom on her, wanted her to be shot, cast doubts on her character and morals. Why? Because she appealed for communal harmony and to stop the violence being inflicted on Muslims and Kashmiris. Did our soldiers fight for such perverts?

The world, and the international media, took notice of this and decided to distance itself from India; we allowed the fundamental cause of the conflict, where we were on strong grounds - terrorism- to be relegated to the back seat, and the center stage was instead occupied by the Hindu India vs Islamic Pakistan narrative. The plot was lost, along with any support we could have otherwise expected.

Diplomatically and perception-wise, we have frittered away our gains on the battlefield and in the skies, we may well have boxed ourselves into a corner with our gladiatorial and cocky rhetoric. And there are no seconds in our corner. For you cannot occupy the moral high ground when your feet are firmly planted in the swamp of mercenary opportunism, contempt for basic human rights, hate and religious nationalism. This is not what our soldiers fought for. They won, but as a country we have let them down. 

WHY THE WORLD NEEDS TO DECLARE ECOCIDE AN INTERNATIONAL CRIME

First, the context.

It's not working. The planet is headed for  armageddon in this century itself if we continue with our present unsustainable life styles. The Paris Accord red line of 1.5* C temperature increase has been breached, CO2 levels have gone up by 125% above pre-industrial levels and at 425 ppm are approaching the survival limit of 450 ppm, the last three years were the hottest in recorded history, parts of Pakistan and Africa are likely to see temperatures of 50* C this summer, Himalayan glaciers are expected to disappear by the end of the century, causing unimaginable water shortages for a quarter of the world's population, thousands of species are going extinct every year. The planet cannot live with this depredation for very much longer.

One of the main reasons for this impending calamity is the humongous scale of deforestation that continues unabated. Global Forest Watch has reported that 10 million hectares of forest are felled every year globally ; that is, 100,000 sq. kms or twice the area of Himachal Pradesh. Between 2001 and 2023 we have lost 408 million hectares of forests to development, farming and logging, losing also a CO2 sequestration capacity of 204 giga tonnes. And this cuts across countries, as governments look for short term economic gains and multi national corporations continue to plunder natural resources with impunity. The regular COP meetings are exercises in futility and convenient opportunities for sexual dalliances at govt/company expense. Nothing more. Just consider a few of the most recent rapacious examples of environmental blood letting. 

30% of the forests in the Amazon basin have already been lost to mining and logging. And yet, Ecquador has finalised plans to auction 3 million ha. of the Amazon forests for mining. The bombing of the Kakhovka dam in Eastern Ukraine in 2023 by Russia released 18 cubic kms of impounded water and devastated hundreds of sq. kms of the natural environment and habitats. Indonesia is in the process of implementing the largest deforestation project in the world- 30689 sq. kms of the third largest rain forest in the world is being cleared to grow sugarcane (for ethanol and food crops). this will completely shatter the biodiversity of the region. Hundreds of thousands of hectares of virgin forests have been deforested in Indonesia, Malaysia and Papua New Guinea for palm oil plantations. WWF has estimated that wild life populations, including marine life, has declined by 70% in the last few decades.

India, as befits a country at the bottom of the Environmental Performance Index, is one of the worst plunderers of forests. Notwithstanding the regular fudging of reports and statistics, the govt's own admissions in Parliament indicate that 173000 hectares of forests were diverted for non-forestry activities in just the last ten years, between 2014 and 2024. According to Global Forest Watch the country has lost 2.33 million ha of forests between 2000 and 2024; the State of the Forest Report for 2022 states that between 2015 and 2021, 3136700 ha of dense forests have degraded to open or scrub categories, and 9.40 million trees have been felled for road, mining, hydel and other projects. And this onslaught on ecosystems and biodiversity goes on relentlessly with approved projects such as the Great Nicobar terminal, the Kancha Gachibowli in Hyderabad, destruction of 9000 mangroves for a Mumbai Coastal Road project, the Char Dham National Highway, a special road to Rishikesh (at a cost of 33000 trees) for Yogi's Kanwariyas, the iron ore mining project in Sanders forest of Karnataka which will result in the removal of 99000 trees, a pumped storage project in the Shahabad forests of Rajasthan's Baran district which will fell more than 100,000 mature trees over 400 acres. It is a never-ending and heart-breaking list of environmental apocalypse.

This level of environmental massacre and extinction of biodiversity is, in a way, worse than genocide because it affects not just one or two communities but the entire planet: temperatures, CO2 levels and biodiversity loss do not recognize political, ethnic or national frontiers. And these effects persist, not for just a generation or two, but for thousands of years. It is now beginning to be recognized by scientists, naturalists, climate activists and even politicians that such actions amount to a crime against humanity, and a new word has been coined to describe them- ECOCIDE.

Ecocide is another variant of homicide or genocide because it too involves killing, but on a planetary scale. It can be defined as " unlawful or wanton acts committed with the knowledge that there would be a severe and widespread and long term damage to the environment caused by these acts." It can also be defined as the destruction of large areas of the natural environment as a consequence of human activity. At least three countries- Vanuatu, Fiji and Samoa - have, in September 2024, proposed that ecocide should be recognized as a crime by the ICC (International Criminal Court). They argue that it should be added as the fifth crime in the Rome Statute, along with the other four- genocide, crimes against humanity, war crimes and the crime of aggression. It is no coincidence that these three South Pacific nations would be the first to be submerged by rising sea levels as a result of climate change.

Many countries already have domestic laws against environmental destruction, but these are ineffective against  ecocide. The reason is that large scale ecocide is usually committed by the governments of countries themselves, (and not by individuals, as the examples above indicate) and therefore they have no accountability. And yet, the calamitous effects of their ecocidal decisions extend far beyond their borders. That is why an international law or covenant is needed to hold them to account or to dissuade them from such actions. The same logic applies to large multi-national corporates who are mostly immune from nation-specific laws because of their spread, size and influence.

Discussions, covenants, treaties, conferences to save the world from environmental apocalypse have not worked. The time has perhaps come to now punish those nations and leaders who continue to be irresponsible. We cannot allow political leaders and corporates, without any vision and driven by material lust, to, in the words of  Mahatma Gandhi, "strip the world bare like locusts."  As Ronald Regan famously said: If you can't make them see the light, let them feel the heat. Ecocide must be recognized as the worst crime against humanity, far graver than the four existing ones, because it puts at stake the very survival of the planet and of homo sapiens. The time to declare it a crime has arrived. 

THE MYSTERIES OF SRIKHAND MAHADEV

 

THE  MYSTERIES  OF  SRIKHAND  MAHADEV.

         

     
                                  [ SRIKHAND  MAHADEV  PEAK . Photo Sanjeeva Pandey.]

    At 18000 feet the peak at Srikhand Mahadev is imposing in its savage grandeur and timeless beauty, shrouded in constantly drifting clouds, surrounded by ice fields and buffeted by powerful winds all day long. The massif is located on the border of Kullu and Shimla districts and is approachable from three directions: Bathad in the Tirthan valley, Phancha in the Ghanvi Khad and Baghipul. I had undertaken this trek in 2004, going up via Bathad and returning by way of Baghipul.  It is perhaps one of the most difficult pilgrimages in the state but for those who venture to undertake to visit this abode of Shiva the rewards are plenty. And one of them is the rich mythology associated with this legend, rich even by the fecund standards of our Dev Bhoomi. I find three of them particularly fascinating and poignant.

   On the final day of the trek to the peak one has to ascend from Bhim Dwar (14000 feet), the camp site for the previous night. The first five kms or so is over alpine pastures, but then the terrain becomes rocky and covered with scree- not a blade of grass grows in this barren wasteland. But after another four kms or so one suddenly finds one self in the middle of a field of flowers- a profuse expanse of the mystical Brahm Kamals, hundreds of them sprouting in glee from between the rocks, their white and cream colours transforming the barren landscape into an arboratum of the gods. This place is known as Parvati Ka Bageecha (The Garden of Parvati).

 

                                                   [ PARVATI  KA  BAGEECHA. Photo by author ]                                        

The Brahm Kamal is the favourite flower of the goddess Parvati, and they are there for a reason. Legend has it that it was at this spot that Parvati waited for 18000 years to win the affection of the God Shiva, who was meditating on the peak at Srikhand, totally oblivious of her. Empathising with her loneliness and distress, the Brahm Kamals bloomed around her spontaneously to give her company and cheer her up. And they are certainly a cheering sight in this desolate terrain. giving one fresh encouragement for the remaining climb of 2000 feet that still remains.

   One continues ascending beyond Parvati Ka Bageecha and the terrain soon reverts to the harsh, glaciated landscape, all greenery vanished. A short distance on, at the foot of the final, two thousand feet steep climb to the peak, is a small, glacial lake, fed by the snow melt from the surrounding glaciers- and herein is embedded another poignant myth. This pristine lake is in the shape of an eye and is known as Nain Sarovar. Legend has it that Parvati, while waiting for Shivji, became so disheartened and disconsolate that she started weeping. One tear drop fell on the ground and formed a lake, shaped like an eye, which is what we see today, hence its name. Pilgrims and trekkers take a dip in these holy waters before proceeding further. The lake is gradually filling up with detritus and may one day disappear entirely, but it has imbued this stark landscape with an anthropomorphic emotion which adds richness to this dev bhoomi

                                                               [ NAIN SAROVAR. Photo by author ]

     From the lake it is a steep 2000 feet ascent to the peak over continuous rockfall, boulders and patches of ice and snow, but one baffling mysterious myth still remains. Halfway to the peak, scattered among the boulders, one comes across a dozen or so stone tablets of massive proportions, rectangular in shape, completely out of place among these rounded boulders. There are carvings on their faces, like some type of cuneiform or vanished script in regular lines. Take a look at the image below:

                                                                 [ BHIM KI BAHI. Photo by author. ]

      It would be difficult to convince any reasonable person that (a) the regular shapes of these tablets have not been CARVED by a humanoid hand or that they are the result of natural erosion, and (b) that the calligraphic type markings on them are the result of the action of winds and ice. Such explanations do not match with the surrounding rocks which do not show any similar effects of these natural forces. The carvings are too stylised and uniform to be natural . And the question: why only these dozen odd tablets ? The devout have a more interesting explanation: these mountain ranges were visited by the Pandavas during their exile ( there are legends of the fabled Pandavas in other regions of the state, and other natural features associated with them, such as Pandupul in the Parbati valley and Bhim ka Chulha at Hatu Peak), and they are supposed to have spent some time on Srikhand Mahadev. These tablets were carved by Bhim and the "writings" on them are the accounts of their travels recorded by him. They are known as "Bhim Ki Bahi" or Ledgers of Bhim. Pilgrims venerate these rocks, as the chandan (sandalwood) markings on the image bear testimony.

   I am reluctant to dismiss outright something which I cannot explain rationally. The remote, natural landscapes of Himachal are absolutely saturated with similar mythologies of the ages. We may not believe in them but we must respect them for they are part of the DNA of both man and nature in these forbidding regions. They bring together MAN, RELIGION and NATURE, a much more sustainable synthesis than today's concoction of Man, Religion and Politics. They have also played a significant role in preserving the natural environment and we must value them for this reason alone, if not for others.